Hi

Exis · 03-18-2015, 06:51 AM

Ayo

I see now,
how your desperate image
wants to be by my side via this peripheral vision
I'll break your skeleton bitches
if you'd just give us a minute,
sixty seconds to kill it could behead your whole village
then sever all spirits 'fore they've resurrected their figures
I'm more iller than your mental condition
where your depressed 'cause I'm sicker
literally in the flesh here my nigga
I wear a vest made of skin,
whilst you've done tanked at beginner
I've double strengthened my shit
straight up placed where no limits is
in some great ass position,
the only thing you've in common with Jesus is
you've both been nailed with precision
I often pounce south on a heathen just to cloud what he's thinkin'
then flip things around and fully shake up the system
amaze 'em with brilliance 'fore they fade from existence
noticed you prayed for a savior yet only Satan would listen
so I came to pay you a visit,
let's get some change out these bitches
the newest craze is to follow me and pave the way where you isn't
go 'head and save your apologies for who's been awaitin' to hear 'em
I'm sharp wit it
on point kid,
I'm down to shank you with wisdom
leave you arm-less 'fore the coins flipped
and have you playin' the victim.

PancakeBrah · 03-22-2015, 06:58 PM

This seems quickly written and kind of whatever. Seems like a cypher post. Something you'd write just to write and get the juices flowing. Wasn't crazy with the rhymes or swagger enough to be a stand alone dope flex piece.

Pharaohs Army · 03-24-2015, 08:07 PM

Read it a couple times and it seems like your rhymes were on point in the 2nd half but lacked in the first half. I thought the opening in particular was bad. But in the later parts I was quite impressed by some lines and how you worked the scheme.

Geno · 03-25-2015, 03:03 PM

dope. strong verse man
pretty nice style changes and schemes.
enjoyed

Mr. J · 04-09-2015, 03:53 PM

Not exactly whar I was expecting from you..
but regardless it was a piece that showed promise
the ill-fated 'downing' of the site may have toyed with you
made you put down the pen and forget who you are
and possibly you found your way back, planning quietly...
plotting...thinking...and finally writing this as a return pie e
either way..decently done..keep writing and pull it together

03-18-2015, 06:51 AM	#1
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	Hi Ayo I see now, how your desperate image wants to be by my side via this peripheral vision I'll break your skeleton bitches if you'd just give us a minute, sixty seconds to kill it could behead your whole village then sever all spirits 'fore they've resurrected their figures I'm more iller than your mental condition where your depressed 'cause I'm sicker literally in the flesh here my nigga I wear a vest made of skin, whilst you've done tanked at beginner I've double strengthened my shit straight up placed where no limits is in some great ass position, the only thing you've in common with Jesus is you've both been nailed with precision I often pounce south on a heathen just to cloud what he's thinkin' then flip things around and fully shake up the system amaze 'em with brilliance 'fore they fade from existence noticed you prayed for a savior yet only Satan would listen so I came to pay you a visit, let's get some change out these bitches the newest craze is to follow me and pave the way where you isn't go 'head and save your apologies for who's been awaitin' to hear 'em I'm sharp wit it on point kid, I'm down to shank you with wisdom leave you arm-less 'fore the coins flipped and have you playin' the victim.

03-22-2015, 06:58 PM	#2
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	This seems quickly written and kind of whatever. Seems like a cypher post. Something you'd write just to write and get the juices flowing. Wasn't crazy with the rhymes or swagger enough to be a stand alone dope flex piece. __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder

03-24-2015, 08:07 PM	#3
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,956 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	Read it a couple times and it seems like your rhymes were on point in the 2nd half but lacked in the first half. I thought the opening in particular was bad. But in the later parts I was quite impressed by some lines and how you worked the scheme. Last edited by Pharaohs Army; 03-24-2015 at 08:09 PM.

03-25-2015, 03:03 PM	#4
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	dope. strong verse man pretty nice style changes and schemes. enjoyed __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

04-09-2015, 03:53 PM	#5
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Not exactly whar I was expecting from you.. but regardless it was a piece that showed promise the ill-fated 'downing' of the site may have toyed with you made you put down the pen and forget who you are and possibly you found your way back, planning quietly... plotting...thinking...and finally writing this as a return pie e either way..decently done..keep writing and pull it together __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

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