Twin Tourney Topical Division Round 1: ACTIVATE SELF vs Regulator- OPEN FOR VOTES!

Etherwave · 12-02-2024, 10:14 AM

Really great battle. Both created a world to lose yourself in.

Activate self

I love a good fever dream

"The carnival was trauma, the carousel a cycle, the wights were her reflection.
Mere vessels of survival. But now her vitals fail as she takes her final breath.
Then floats into the void to finally coalesce

…with death."

Excellent ending.

Regulator

"These hallowed grounds smell like tragedy, the old folks confused this aroma with weed smoke.
the mysterious stench, the empty Ferris Wheel, still spinning in motion, you almost see both."

This was a great introduction. Your piece was full and well written but some lines felt forced

"Vivid imagery of this scent, followed by what was depicted as 3 ghosts, we picked this night to be close..
Only evidence we know, is the predator slipping up and leaving a message to decode" like this. Specifically "The only evidence we know" just doesn't read well to me. I think the trouble is i think I'm reading poetry but that's not what this is about so maybe the problem is me. But it's only my second full tournament so I'm still learning the methods and what we are actually doing here.

Either way, my vote goes to Activate self as it had a smoother vibe -solid completion.

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12-02-2024, 10:14 AM	#7
Etherwave Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2020 Posts: 323 Rep Power: 4218482	Really great battle. Both created a world to lose yourself in. Activate self I love a good fever dream "The carnival was trauma, the carousel a cycle, the wights were her reflection. Mere vessels of survival. But now her vitals fail as she takes her final breath. Then floats into the void to finally coalesce …with death." Excellent ending. Regulator "These hallowed grounds smell like tragedy, the old folks confused this aroma with weed smoke. the mysterious stench, the empty Ferris Wheel, still spinning in motion, you almost see both." This was a great introduction. Your piece was full and well written but some lines felt forced "Vivid imagery of this scent, followed by what was depicted as 3 ghosts, we picked this night to be close.. Only evidence we know, is the predator slipping up and leaving a message to decode" like this. Specifically "The only evidence we know" just doesn't read well to me. I think the trouble is i think I'm reading poetry but that's not what this is about so maybe the problem is me. But it's only my second full tournament so I'm still learning the methods and what we are actually doing here. Either way, my vote goes to Activate self as it had a smoother vibe -solid completion.