WEEK ELEVEN: ADVERSE (3-3) vs EVICTION (7-2) OPEN FOR VOTES ADVERSE WINS 4-2

brokenhal0 · 06-29-2022, 12:15 AM

Mvgt - Eviction

Adverse if your opening 6 bars where delivered sharper as the rest of the plot developed
I think this would have been a closer battle imo
example:

I’m all bone
Stripped of my humanity, hollow and brittle
All my regrets laid out like a table spread of holiday kibble
Ready to eat, bon appetite, the devil’s flicking the lighter
Smoke filling my lungs, like fattened lambs set to be slaughtered

lighter and slaughtered while making sense metaphorically did not rhyme
which through me off a bit those lines lost any momentum you built as a opener imo but you picked it back up and i thought the rest of the verse was on point you had a intricate rhyme structure going which I enjoyed but overall evictions consistent building of visceral impactful verbiage and slick internals gave him the W

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06-29-2022, 12:15 AM	#8
brokenhal0 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 523 Battle Record: 12-12=4 Champed - AOWL Season IX Rep Power: 3891097	Mvgt - Eviction Adverse if your opening 6 bars where delivered sharper as the rest of the plot developed I think this would have been a closer battle imo example: I’m all bone Stripped of my humanity, hollow and brittle All my regrets laid out like a table spread of holiday kibble Ready to eat, bon appetite, the devil’s flicking the lighter Smoke filling my lungs, like fattened lambs set to be slaughtered lighter and slaughtered while making sense metaphorically did not rhyme which through me off a bit those lines lost any momentum you built as a opener imo but you picked it back up and i thought the rest of the verse was on point you had a intricate rhyme structure going which I enjoyed but overall evictions consistent building of visceral impactful verbiage and slick internals gave him the W