WEEK SIX: MR. J 3-2 vs FRAZE 1-0 FRAZE WINS

[Mr. J]

She said let your lust hang out, we walk the same route
Judgement clouded by cocaine snouts, champagne droughts
Dreams of rain clouds, blueprints that left her face down
Brainstorming, plans laid out on sheets and 8 towels...
Mumblings that made vowels but no sense came around
Guard and her shame sound different from the lay crowd..
Her brain is now advanced in how to change blame, doubt.
She claims ground over anyone who tries to parade proud.
Once the same clown who would make one exchange loud
As shots rang out she would return em quick, bang, pow....
Click, clank, wow...after several years this chick changed now.
From ideal mother, to "I deal" fucker, a once ideal lover...
Now concealing uppers, downers and appealing to cluckers
She might seal you under if ever the deals a blunder.
Get the 9, wield and confront ya, pull the steel and dump ya.
In a ravine, alleyway or ditch, this is what her typical Saturday is
Her manners may have slipped as she grabs and lays bricks
Her grammar, same shit while she plans to say "bitch!"
Bruises and scrapes, cuts and tats that remain with....
But damn man..she stay thick with those years steady calling for her.
Maybe that's why after all these years I'm still falling for her..

[Universe]

fraze:

God. Fucking. Damn. This is the kind of verse that I look for every week. Creative, technically sound and with a good story behind it. I LOVED this, man. Read it twice right away. You sort of remind of a fresh Scar when he wrecked shop in the GWL earlier this year... You have THAT type of potential. I felt your skills were slept on in the NBL but that won't happen here - This is where good writing has a home. And you, my friend, are a terrific writer.

Opening section was decent and set the tone for the piece, although it was probably the weak point of the verse... But it just kept getting better.

"Path of a nihilist, painted without scenic environment
Retracing steps erased in place, we can’t accept without denying it
Can’t imply I’m going places. Just forward towards no oasis.
Hope’s a hokie joke with devils blowing smoke inside our faces."

- This is dope af. My eyes really opened here.

"Step. Trudge. Next one" bar was simple but done well and effective.

"This endless ocean giving me the sinking feeling that I’m floating"

- ^^ This may be LOTB right here.

"Falling" scheme was nice too. And you followed it with...

"Open hearts intertwined like gods receiving Mayan gifts"

- Yikes. So good.

Perfect ending too. This is hands down verse of the week for me and one of my favs overall so far this season. I'm ranting and raving, I know lol... but I loved this piece in every way. Amazing stuff, man. Bravo.


Mr. J:

Flow is nice as always. Multi's are hitting. But unfortunately what is standing out here in the beginning is kind of "forced" multi's, in terms of being true to the syllable count yet sacrificing clearer wording. I fall victim to this all the time bro myself, so I notice it. It's a tough line to walk when you are trying to be technically proficient and yet make sense at the same time.

Loved this part though:

"In a ravine, alleyway or ditch, this is what her typical Saturday is
Her manners may have slipped as she grabs and lays bricks
Her grammar, same shit while she plans to say "bitch!"
Bruises and scrapes, cuts and tats that remain with...."

- This is fucking impressive in a lot of ways, but mostly JUST from a technical standpoint. Wasn't really saying too much but damn if it wasn't nice to read.

I think this was a good verse J, but it wasn't at the level of what fraze did here. You win with this more times than not but you ran into a monster here that you most likely didn't see coming. So, great effort, and a very enjoyable battle but this is fraze's moment.

Vote - fraze