WEEK 7: Vulgar vs Pharoahs Army VULGAR WINS

Johnny 6 feet · 05-10-2020, 09:37 AM

Vulgar- liked how the take you took on the picture was so relatable to what's going on in the world today. Despite the downbeat themes being explored this was an uplifting story about the importance of human kindness which spoke to me on a personal level. Your pacing and vocab choice was good from start to finish; and the plot twist was well executed. Nice.

Pharaoh's Army- If you don't want to lose friends, don't talk about politics or religion right? You painted the tension in the scene very clearly, and managed to work the dialogue into the piece well which is difficult to do. I guess I was hoping for a stronger punchline at the conclusion but it served it's purpose. Rhyme scheme could've been a little stronger here and there but it's clear you have a flair for narration.

Vote- Vulgar, I think his narrative was the stronger one. PA came with it though. good battle guys.

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05-10-2020, 09:37 AM	#7
Johnny 6 feet Storyteller Join Date: May 2020 Posts: 446 Battle Record: 8-4 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League Rep Power: 5558447	Vulgar- liked how the take you took on the picture was so relatable to what's going on in the world today. Despite the downbeat themes being explored this was an uplifting story about the importance of human kindness which spoke to me on a personal level. Your pacing and vocab choice was good from start to finish; and the plot twist was well executed. Nice. Pharaoh's Army- If you don't want to lose friends, don't talk about politics or religion right? You painted the tension in the scene very clearly, and managed to work the dialogue into the piece well which is difficult to do. I guess I was hoping for a stronger punchline at the conclusion but it served it's purpose. Rhyme scheme could've been a little stronger here and there but it's clear you have a flair for narration. Vote- Vulgar, I think his narrative was the stronger one. PA came with it though. good battle guys.