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Old 04-08-2019, 06:45 AM   #1
Split Eight
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,632
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- Haiku Writers Challenge

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dead man View Post
i spent a treasure for a better replacement. let me rephrase
i left heaven for a hell that embraced me. metal to grain
set in my ways. you can tell these wheels are freshly rotated
engineered to only be accessible wasted. as you were
as i've been. embarrassing to wake in a sweat
not remembering anything that i probably said
this is the good shit.


I really liked some of the vocab tossed around here, too. Not too out there, but on the periphery of commonplace. Relatable and familiar overall. The juxtaposition at the end was a little jarring and somewhat uncharacteristic. Not in a bad way, it just drew the eye.

keep writing
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PancakeBrah View Post
I'm going to start off on a tangent.

when I write, lately, I feel as if I begin by stringing together ambient ideas and concepts, then i realize I'm just typing the words coffee, tawdry, and autumn over and over and over, again, then I pass out dru-
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