cold nigga

[Witty]

Internal rhymes are great, you won't see anyone ever with more internals than me in their pieces, but I feel you really need the end rhymes to keep the piece intact, as audio this would probably be better but as a written piece it is difficult and frustrating to read, imo internals are to add to the end rhyme, not to replace it.

You're genuinely trying too hard, or that is how it comes across. Take a leaf out of the guy above's book and just write.