sleeveless

[Mr. J]

I really enjoy the whole structure of this piece
its sensual and inviting, the story displays your skill

wear your heart on your tongue
-- what's your sleeve ever done?
except deceive that we are spun
from the same fabric of unchained magic
or obscure that we are pure as we begin,
but unsure what we’ve become

^^^
the flow & word choice is quite poetic.
I also enjoyed the idea that followed this one
the whole skin & bone/will alone thing was smooth
I really liked the work of same fabric/unchained magic though...

yet never within because the tremulous din
of cavities sing sorrow.
are we then hollow, living in atrophy?
little black holes dripping causality
-- pull me in, give me more gravity.

^^^
the start of this wasnt really to my liking
but I enjoyed the whole use of atrophy...that was nice
I like how the ending rounded itself about as well
this was quite a stellar return to the stable...nice work