Tabitha's Song

Alice White · 02-27-2016, 09:07 AM

Thought the title was quite intriguing. I also appreciate the consistent linkage between your title and the narrative you employed here.
Content-wise, it was quite an interesting read, not overly creative in terms of the picture approach, but I thought your narrative and vivid description of the surroundings contributed well to an original work here. Your usage of multis was also quite nice, thought it appeared rather simplistic in a few spots such as the "shelf/self" one, but I thought it wasn't overly forced.
I loved the closing stanza, thought it was the highlight of this verse. It had terrific imagery, a clear closure and a smooth flow. I also liked the subtle abstractness in your last line,
"And wonders if she rebuilt him, would it be different than last time."
A really nice closure to an overall interesting, good verse.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Threaded Mode

02-27-2016, 09:07 AM	#2
Alice White Member Join Date: Dec 2015 Posts: 72 Rep Power: 0	Thought the title was quite intriguing. I also appreciate the consistent linkage between your title and the narrative you employed here. Content-wise, it was quite an interesting read, not overly creative in terms of the picture approach, but I thought your narrative and vivid description of the surroundings contributed well to an original work here. Your usage of multis was also quite nice, thought it appeared rather simplistic in a few spots such as the "shelf/self" one, but I thought it wasn't overly forced. I loved the closing stanza, thought it was the highlight of this verse. It had terrific imagery, a clear closure and a smooth flow. I also liked the subtle abstractness in your last line, "And wonders if she rebuilt him, would it be different than last time." A really nice closure to an overall interesting, good verse.