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03-05-2014, 02:40 AM
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#1 |
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nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,505
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 51788022   |
Lumber.
Yo I told this cute runner to suck my huge lumber
while I banged her pussyhole with a poop covered cucumber I'm in a band I play the nude drummer I always chew cunt first and then swallow the spray every whore dies inside from hollow decay The Lord is your Shepard so just follow and pray I'll never forget what Lindsey told me over that bottle of grey didn't sleep Saturday via Molly and yay life is a holiday so it's probably ok Masai went to paprika Streakta caught Somalian aids plastic is to cracker as water's a slave forgive my geometry ayahuasca brain actually fuck this I'm barely alive look bic a paper airplane chuck it at some very dry woods breastlings with hepher physics matter fact this the best thing I've ever written
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
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03-05-2014, 03:22 AM
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#2 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 179
Rep Power: 35 |
Absolute pile of shite. I loved the bit where you stopped, that was dope. But I've gotta admit, I lost interest at "Yo"
Keep on not writing. |
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03-05-2014, 08:20 AM
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#3 |
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Arm the Homeless
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 35079722 |
For some reason when I read this I kept thinking of Action Bronson's verse in NaNa. Specifically the first few lines. Idk why. Either way this verse was strange, but the flow especially on the masaii lines was very good. Not much else to say but I liked it.
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03-05-2014, 08:32 AM
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#4 |
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White Earl
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 12,354
Battle Record: 10-15
Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x)
Champed - Netcees Writers League
- Write Week I
- Write Week 8
Rep Power: 50036761  |
lol @wise
your an odd one
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
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03-05-2014, 08:51 AM
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#5 | |
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obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,709
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599682 |
I thought this was good. Definitely not the best thing you've ever written. But it seemed a bit uninspired. I think you need to flush out a few topics where you arent fully comfortable, as is evident in here. The reason I say you do this is because, you'll feel a bit of discomfort. Which is also the best. You don't want to feel like youve got shit on lock when you're in your own house. Rob someone elses house and have their shit on lock too. Have your entire city block on lock. Not just your own home. Then take over counties. States, and regions. Then countries. Your own home is where you create the best. Leave, because although you may own it, it becomes boring. Not saying this is boring, cause I enjoyed it. But you may become bored.
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precision defender Quote:
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03-05-2014, 10:47 AM
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#6 |
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nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,505
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 51788022 |
haha! this shit was retard strength
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
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03-05-2014, 05:05 PM
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#7 |
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V.V
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20
Rep Power: 6247259 |
Lol'd at the title. Random awesomeness imo. Keep dropping. I want to eventually have a rematch also, u turd nugget, you.
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Ahem. |
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03-05-2014, 07:10 PM
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#8 | |
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WOW
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,591
Battle Record: 29-25
Champed - Writing Challenge League I
Rep Power: 82779338 |
Quote:
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A.bove T.he R.est
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03-05-2014, 07:20 PM
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#9 |
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Mad fucking dangerous.
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,066
Battle Record: 40-19
Champed - AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)
Rep Power: 85899406 |
The first half or so was strong. It seemed to stumble a bit after the holiday line, which was a highlight.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. |
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03-06-2014, 12:47 AM
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#10 |
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___________
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: California
Posts: 1,989
Battle Record: 4-4
Champed - The Ultimate Textcee
- NBL Cypher
Rep Power: 11033512 |
forgive my geometry ayahuasca brain
LOL this line is actually kind of dope and the paper airplane one was good visuals good little idgaf piece tbh |
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03-07-2014, 01:51 PM
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#11 |
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nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,505
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 51788022 |
You got to pay me ho
Or pay me no Attention
__________________
"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
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03-24-2014, 04:56 PM
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#12 |
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Mic Check
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Calgary Alberta Canada
Posts: 708
Battle Record: 13-10
Rep Power: 3742225 |
oh fuck yeah, bud
thats what im talkin boot lolts of lols, lots of rhymes. dope, ha this what i was lookin for
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My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete. |
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