Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Forum > Open Mic Section

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-01-2014, 08:12 PM   #1
Scripter
_Al_GO_RYTHMIC
 
Scripter's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 644
Battle Record: 1-3



Rep Power: 0
Scripter drags down this site on a Masaii-levelScripter drags down this site on a Masaii-levelScripter drags down this site on a Masaii-levelScripter drags down this site on a Masaii-levelScripter drags down this site on a Masaii-levelScripter drags down this site on a Masaii-levelScripter drags down this site on a Masaii-levelScripter drags down this site on a Masaii-levelScripter drags down this site on a Masaii-levelScripter drags down this site on a Masaii-levelScripter drags down this site on a Masaii-level
Wink Scriptited

I'm spitting script
they picket
an pick at
the way I come
ripping it
your chick
can get off my dick
I've been gettin them
they're finger lickin
just pecking an
gaggle and gag on it
while I dibble dabble
an put swag on it
I'm like Shaq
your the back on it
broke shattered like glass
I'm smashing gripped on lid
rap something I have passion in
I write off trash
an compose like
I'm trashing men
think quick fast
like the flash
when I pass women
they whirl gasp an grab the wind
but when my balls itch
I still scratch their chin
I write
to enlighten
but fight to
find light within
to untype the rights of
what has been written
waves an signals all in rhythm
deifying it's magnetism
seeing the youth has risen
another youthanism
in the booth a prison
another visual prism
of the roots of missing
unrudimentary jumping
switching finding case
trace of clueless mission
its without inhibition
each have peace
without it
piece
of their soul is missing
__________________
http://www.youtube.com/user/toadill

Ⓖⓔⓣ ⓘⓝ ⓣⓗⓔ ⓑⓞⓦⓛ
I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT
╔══════╦═╗╔═╦═══╦═╦═══╗
║░╔╗╔╗░║░║║░║╚══╣░║░╔═╝
║░║╚╝║░║░╚╝░╠══╗║░║░╚═╗
╚═╝░░╚═╩════╩═══╩═╩═══╝
¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪

◕MUSIC◕LOVE◕LIVE◕LAUGH◕
☯█▄█ █ █▀█ █▄█ █▀█ █▀█ ♬
♬█▀█ █ █▀▀ █▀█ █▄█ █▀▀ ☯
❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤♡

Last edited by Scripter; 01-01-2014 at 09:40 PM.
Scripter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 01:48 AM   #2
e11even
V.V
 
e11even's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20



Rep Power: 6247259
e11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant future
Default

This started of shallow and got deeper as it went on. I like ur writing style format. Its jolting in a nagging way, but it makes you stand out well. Just develop ur scheme into a crisper setup and be more deliberate with your train-of-thought drops and i think you'll be straight. Keep it up scrip.
__________________
Ahem.
e11even is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 08:52 AM   #3
Exis
............
 
Exis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,934
Battle Record: 3-3



Rep Power: 0
Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis
Default

This is aight...a little bland for my likin' tbh, really hate the way you've structured it as it reads very stop/start to me also but whatevers...I was definitely feelin' the second half of the verse more so than the first and you did have a couple lines scattered amongst this that I liked, unfortunately though they were few and far between to make this some mind blowin' piece...no hate, still enjoyed what you penned here man.

Stay upwards.
Exis is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:10 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+