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#1 |
Razor-thin derision
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Last edited by Vulgar; 12-07-2021 at 08:09 PM. |
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#2 |
The COAT...
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: BC, Canada
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Damn man still killing it.
"Some honeycombs are made of hexagrams - onlookers admire its odd beauty There's a difference between staying alert and being an ant in a food cabinet on guard duty" Well worded for the complexity of the concept, that can be tough to do this effectively. Autumn leaves/Buddhist cow bar was dope too. The whole thing had all the components of a successful Vulgar verse. Depth, vocab, imagery, top notch. Consistently enjoyable throughout, commendable for a verse this size.
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#3 |
White Earl
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this is fucking insane dope. I will give propper feed soon. But yes, amazing drop.
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
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#4 |
.
Join Date: Aug 2013
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excellent. I don't know how you stay so well-spoken while at the same time writing on so many subjects for so many lines. I think shorter and more complex schemes interspersed within your verses would really free up your diction in places and let your more powerful, full-bodied bars shine through. You tend to not selectively highlight your own writing. I think a touch of presentative flair would make your verses appear as well-written as they actually are, if that makes sense.
Autumn sends the leaves; every ripple effect is a reverberation of the truth of now Tranquil streams become chaos eddies, don't mind the corpse of the Buddhist cow It decomposes so we can see there's hope enough to reach stars Raindrops resemble crestfallen Earths, the ground soaks them up to restart tree barks At root, we're bacterial formations, living chronicles of the indomitable test tube Let's use our frontal lobes to strike conversations, or marvel at the rent's dues WHOOOOOOO Hope you are ready for this collab with dead man. u remember m8? i got bars
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#5 |
Razor-thin derision
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Thanks.
Split, I remember, lemme see those barz. |
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#6 |
Arm the Homeless
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I'm gonna try and give in depth feed in return for what you gave me, but I'm on my phone so if its short I'll add more later. The opening section set up the flow perfectly but this section:
At first, I didn't need a sage to advise me to obey the laws of nature I sung a song for labor, bogged down in my hyperbolic chamber I tried seeing eye-to-eye with a relentlessly reproducing throng of neighbors Promenades blurred, as dishonest, dissolvent vapors became auditor & arbitrator ^^This section brought forth some epic word usage and this shows two things in my opinion. a) You're educated and know what you're talking about, and b) you can manage your flow and syllable count VERY well. Not an easy skill so props. This piece is a quality piece of work that I think is being avoided by others because its a little intimidating in terms of content and length, but it's a very good read. Props. |
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#7 |
Senior Member
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There's some cool wordplay embedded within. It came off as an abstract piece that was somewhat stream of conscious in the vein of Aesop Rock. If there was to be some coherency to the piece as a whole, it was a little too heady for me to pick up on one read.
I particularly enjoyed this: "Take for instance this line: "Be a workhorse or get trampled. Stay stable." If it behooves you, pick a gal up and make her breast jangle" Keep doing. Cimm |
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#8 |
Razor-thin derision
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#9 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
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- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
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- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
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keep doing you.
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#10 |
Senior Member
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i facebooked you for the feed on this
absolutely amaze balls |
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#11 |
SOBER
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half and half lol/im just chillin bro, right. he said 'barz' to seem relatable but he knows he'll prob do better than yours if he gives a care enough to try. it was cute. saying barz.
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#12 |
Razor-thin derision
Join Date: Jan 2013
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#13 |
SYRACUSE
Join Date: Jan 2013
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putin has a sexy walk according to utube clip of him vs g bush comparing body language
v u r my lord and shep where did u go when u were in nyc central park stat lib and ground 0? times sq? all that tourist shit? |
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#14 |
SOBER
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lol nyc boards so hard.
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Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder |
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#15 |
Razor-thin derision
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
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#16 |
SYRACUSE
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lol u were in my borough nigga and we didn't hang i won't let that pass a second time my nigga we coulda bar hopped and subdued wenches...
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#17 |
Senior Member
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Jesus...
(proper feed will come soon) |
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#18 |
Razor-thin derision
Join Date: Jan 2013
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#19 |
Bam
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#20 | |
Mad fucking dangerous.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. |
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