deadman - a Means to an End

[NYCSPITZ]

Good, Black. I assume it's an autobiographical sketch about you and wifey, I mean you guys aren't in mid-life yet but w/e.

The first portion with the same rhyme scheme opened with the great imagery and wording that is your trademark. So your girl is Cuban?? Excellent...Don't know maybe you just said that to rhyme though, probably she is tho. The contradiction and CONFUSION inherent to human life always rings like a distinct bell in your pieces, but the pain caused by this is providential, because the more you suffer the deeper your understanding of life (zen buddhism), and lends you your own unique perspective on life. At times I feel your writing is a bit self-congratulatory in a way, like you want to be noticed for this deeper than average soul you possess, which actually is a virtue imo b/c it shows your lust for life in the midst of life's rollercoaster. On the flip side, you're being real and your pieces tend to scream "I am very grounded, I don't lie to myself, I am introspective and gain insights everywhere", which is probably true and good for your mental health. This next rhyme scheme interestingly continues the idea of atrophy in western society. You nicely contrast western repose with the "hanging gardens" which I think is one of the seven wonders of the world but regardless it obviously sounds too exotic to be considered western. Then immediately in the same line you mention "nebuchadnezzar was hung", indicating to me that yours is a will against the social, spiritual, and mental decay caused by various facets of Western societies, and I feel u on that bro. The next paints a picture of a darker type of relationship. What stood out to me here most is the word convalescent - I gleaned much from Nietzsche's "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" (his most hilarious and best work saturated with profundity) and applied it here. Your usage here is in my opinion imprecise, because yes you have probably suffered and gotten stronger for it, and the same probably goes for your girl's experience and your experience together, but right before - you paint this dreary image of your relationship. If you are truly a convalescent, why is this recurring sickness still in your relationship? Still a good section though broskie. On the last part - I'll echo what I said before and say that I admire your candor and groundedness in reality. You are cognizant of the fact that we create our own reality by forming plans and galvanizing into action, yet most people are either in denial or too indolent to do so. However, in some strange way I feel like you're in denial yourself. I'm not trying to be an armchair psychologist here, just the vibe I get off this. The end indicates to me that you are solid in yourself as a human, but not as solid as you want to be. You haven't been able to fully glorify that inner spark in you - i.e, you think you can be more solid than you are now, and better than you are now and you desperately are seeking that solidity. Perhaps you've imagined yourself a father and you're saying to yourself - I can be more solid of a creator - if I am more solid I can create something far beyond myself. Anyways as usual packed with profundity and a smooth read. Thanks.