DEADMAN: Clockwork Cortisol

oats · 08-16-2013, 03:56 PM

This:

it's more than the truth. fuck i'm ignorant, ignore me, rebuke
it's these narcissistic tendencies that force me to use
metaphors or a slew of linear coordinate cues
to reorient the normative views, rhyme orbital loops
around disorder to prove there's nothing formula-proof

And the moment of anger/empathy line

Are why I always enjoy reading your verses. This one had all cylinders firing with intelligent rhymes, thought-provoking metaphors and imagery, and clever turns of phrases and wordplay. Highly re-readable.

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08-16-2013, 03:56 PM	#2
oats Steel Cut Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,084 Battle Record: 19-10 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 79005428	This: it's more than the truth. fuck i'm ignorant, ignore me, rebuke it's these narcissistic tendencies that force me to use metaphors or a slew of linear coordinate cues to reorient the normative views, rhyme orbital loops around disorder to prove there's nothing formula-proof And the moment of anger/empathy line Are why I always enjoy reading your verses. This one had all cylinders firing with intelligent rhymes, thought-provoking metaphors and imagery, and clever turns of phrases and wordplay. Highly re-readable.