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Old 08-01-2013, 03:14 AM   #1
CopyPat
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hahah this was super sick man. i've been reading a bunch of ur shit in here and cypher etc and i really really dig it. you bring alot to the table in terms of what im usually looking for in text. your flows are complex with the scheming but always come out really smooth. that's something i always love. the content on this was fresh aswell. kinda like an internet dating parody. pretty funny. enjoyed ur candor as well hahaha. overall this was awesome man. please keep posting. i do have one criticism though which is the end felt like u gave up flow wize. like u wanted to have ur dick suck line as the end but couldn't figure out a good way to transition to it from the middle part.. so yeah almost felt like u just said fuck it for this section:

I'm embarrassed to be on here.
I have friends in real life, too,
but they're happy, while I'm ... on here.
I haven't had sex twice in the same week in six months.
And though I can whip up something about tryst love, let's face it:
I'm mostly here to get my dick sucked

last 3 lines were ok.. not as good as the rest of the piece. but this part
I'm embarrassed to be on here.
I have friends in real life, too,
but they're happy, while I'm ... on here.

really threw a wrench in to everything and kinda brought the flow to a hault

regardless... one hiccup in an otherwise really good drop bro so nice one
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