Domestic

Universe · 05-10-2020, 09:13 AM

Dedicated to married guys everywhere...

The struggle is real.

......

My colloquialisms appear to make me cloak and disappear
But with an alcoholic's tear, my only vice is going out to get some beer
Come back home to hear, Um, do you know how long you were gone for?
You must know that right is NOT-chores - unlike laundry and lawnmowers
What's death do us part for? Don't worry before they throw on the dirt...
I'll make sure all my affairs are in order... from best blowjob to worst
What!? she blurted out, I said I had to go-stop-at-work
Oh I must have a hearing problem. Like a mistrial? Go fuck yourself, jerk.
You are unbelievably preoccupied with that damn netcees shit
My family has my attention... Please, you were on backpage when they seized it
That's egregious! We can disagree just let's make it a conversation holder
I rip up every restraining order my X-Files like god damn Agent Mulder
The ol' ball and chain's a boulder; That slut's a deadbeat loner
You want the whole story then follow the sub-plot, The Hunt for Red October
I'm just happy that it's over (it's not).. I see you picked those toiletries up
Now for your birthday you can leave the toilet seat up. Aw you spoil me, fuck
But what's with the spoiled meat hun?? I swear sometimes you can be so dumb
Who are you texting? I'm not I'm just-- It can't be no one!
I'm just making notes for-- You can't hold a conversation, it's pathetic
But you have no frame of reference like you began a bowling game and left it
At this rate we won't make old age together; The sincerest form of flattery
You can put me in jail and shackle me but I can endure-a-cell like a battery
All you do is fucking laugh at me!... Then like an Indian giver I relent
Told her she's the only one I've been with... the rest were nine's and ten's
Go buy a pint with your friends asshole. Fine. Fuck you, stay here at home!
I thought you wanted me out of the house? Not if you're THAT eager to go!
Leave me alone; Oh you gonna put hands on me like our first date?
Bitch I could cut off your legs and you'd still be standoffish like a mermaid
I wish I could stuff you in a metal crate to desecrate this marriage slut
I'll orchestrate your delirium like sending an orca straight to aquariums, what!?
Your wordplay is hilarious, opposites attract that's what's saving you
And our baby too, I mean look at the magnitude of what our magnet drew!
I've provided you with backyard barbecues and a pool for swimming
Everything but the kitchen synch... Like with the Google Mini
Who you kidding? Yesterday you blew the tranny like a tuck job
Did a sit up and an ab ruptured, you came to an abrupt stop
Very funny, but we all know you too over the hill to fall slow
I know this is a tough pill to swallow as far as pillow talk goes, but--
Careful! They'll find ya carcass before the head like a god damn blow n' go
I'm actually indifferent to this relation-ship... Whatever-floats-your-boat
Do you think I can borrow a credit card now or maybe a thousand dollars?
Why? Because I make disasters polished and sell it for cash and profit?
I wont make a splash, You're a Jackson Pollack action doll bitch!
What did you expect me to say? Here babe... you can have my wallet?
You fucking shopaholic, I gave you credit and you blew it in an instant
She grew distant; An argument of Titanic proportions always accrues interest
Now you will soon witness payback that only some afford
We're in uncharted territory here... What? That means unexplored
Ugh. No matter how much we struggle, I love you... you fucking dork
I glance to the floor then look up toward her...

Fuck it, I love you more.

Mwah.

05-10-2020, 09:13 AM	#1
Universe Everything's Connected Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Niagara Falls, Canada Posts: 1,001 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x) - GWL Picture challenge(2x) - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 10178706	Domestic Dedicated to married guys everywhere... The struggle is real. ...... My colloquialisms appear to make me cloak and disappear But with an alcoholic's tear, my only vice is going out to get some beer Come back home to hear, Um, do you know how long you were gone for? You must know that right is NOT-chores - unlike laundry and lawnmowers What's death do us part for? Don't worry before they throw on the dirt... I'll make sure all my affairs are in order... from best blowjob to worst What!? she blurted out, I said I had to go-stop-at-work Oh I must have a hearing problem. Like a mistrial? Go fuck yourself, jerk. You are unbelievably preoccupied with that damn netcees shit My family has my attention... Please, you were on backpage when they seized it That's egregious! We can disagree just let's make it a conversation holder I rip up every restraining order my X-Files like god damn Agent Mulder The ol' ball and chain's a boulder; That slut's a deadbeat loner You want the whole story then follow the sub-plot, The Hunt for Red October I'm just happy that it's over (it's not).. I see you picked those toiletries up Now for your birthday you can leave the toilet seat up. Aw you spoil me, fuck But what's with the spoiled meat hun?? I swear sometimes you can be so dumb Who are you texting? I'm not I'm just-- It can't be no one! I'm just making notes for-- You can't hold a conversation, it's pathetic But you have no frame of reference like you began a bowling game and left it At this rate we won't make old age together; The sincerest form of flattery You can put me in jail and shackle me but I can endure-a-cell like a battery All you do is fucking laugh at me!... Then like an Indian giver I relent Told her she's the only one I've been with... the rest were nine's and ten's Go buy a pint with your friends asshole. Fine. Fuck you, stay here at home! I thought you wanted me out of the house? Not if you're THAT eager to go! Leave me alone; Oh you gonna put hands on me like our first date? Bitch I could cut off your legs and you'd still be standoffish like a mermaid I wish I could stuff you in a metal crate to desecrate this marriage slut I'll orchestrate your delirium like sending an orca straight to aquariums, what!? Your wordplay is hilarious, opposites attract that's what's saving you And our baby too, I mean look at the magnitude of what our magnet drew! I've provided you with backyard barbecues and a pool for swimming Everything but the kitchen synch... Like with the Google Mini Who you kidding? Yesterday you blew the tranny like a tuck job Did a sit up and an ab ruptured, you came to an abrupt stop Very funny, but we all know you too over the hill to fall slow I know this is a tough pill to swallow as far as pillow talk goes, but-- Careful! They'll find ya carcass before the head like a god damn blow n' go I'm actually indifferent to this relation-ship... Whatever-floats-your-boat Do you think I can borrow a credit card now or maybe a thousand dollars? Why? Because I make disasters polished and sell it for cash and profit? I wont make a splash, You're a Jackson Pollack action doll bitch! What did you expect me to say? Here babe... you can have my wallet? You fucking shopaholic, I gave you credit and you blew it in an instant She grew distant; An argument of Titanic proportions always accrues interest Now you will soon witness payback that only some afford We're in uncharted territory here... What? That means unexplored Ugh. No matter how much we struggle, I love you... you fucking dork I glance to the floor then look up toward her... Fuck it, I love you more. Mwah. __________________ ..Passed the Present and Future.. Last edited by Universe; 05-10-2020 at 09:18 AM.