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Old 08-30-2014, 12:27 AM   #27
PancakeBrah
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I read this earlier today and enjoyed it. The rhymes were good, very persistent. Although I think you sometimes carried a scheme to the point of carrying a scheme. I liked the CAPS at first but as it went on it seemed you used them to spice up spots where you lost a bit of steam.. You started stronger than you finished. At some point in reading this I found myself waiting for the next CAPPED OUT SENTENCE because they went from a punctuation to the point. You do have a nose for an original rhyme, and some of the content in this was good. Remote. The overt aggressiveness, which is enjoyable. It never let up and that made some of it's faults less noticeable. Very Bags-esque, but with an eye towards saying 'hey faggots I can still write'. That's the vibe I got from this piece. I say thanks for the read on almost every piece I feed but I mean it here. Enjoyable to read despite it's faults.
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