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#7 |
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,868
Battle Record: 17-32
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The storytelling was fluent, great choice of words along with a decent rhymescheme. The story was entertaining enough, kinda felt like it stopped kinda ''fast'' tho', almost as if it could continue for some follow-up verses, which would be dope as fuck in my opinion.
Overall I enjoyed the read and the only nitpicking I can do is that you used the word ''chance'' twice in the stream of ''ance''-rhymes. But yeah, nothing noteworthy, solid drop. Keep it up.
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I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o |
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