XI WK V: Symetrik (2-0) vs. NYCSPITZ (1-3) (SYMETRIK WINS)

[Frank]

Season 11 XI

VERSES: Monday, January, 16th, 11:59 P.M. Western / 2:59 A.M. Eastern / 7:59 A.M. UK. 24 Hour Ext: Mod/Opponent Discretion

VOTES: Wednesday, January 18th, 11:59 P.M. Western / 2:59 A.M. Eastern / 7:59 A.M. UK. 3 Vote Requirement Enforced/Penalty

MAXIMUM: 48 Lines: 64 IF AGREED UPON!

Goodluck! @symetrik @NYCSPITZ

TOPIC:

[NYCSPITZ]

Myriad soldiers and pyramid boulders.
LYRICAL SOLDIERS. KILLING YOU with A KNIFE - no miracle…OVER!!!
Virulent smolder. Littlest, bolder. Middle October…
BRITTLEST FOLGERS. Stale coffee in your mouth. THE SKY IS RED
THIS GUY IS DEAD. Flying in “with a knife”, Yo, I’m STABBING HIM DEAD.
MAD AS A HEN. Assassins creed, when I pull the trigger on my Mac u bleed
FACTS INDEED. MAC AND CHEESE. I’M LIKE “MAD MAX IN HEAT”
BECAUSE WHEN I SPUN-THE-WHEEL YOUR GF “GAVE ME A BLOW JOB”

[symetrik]

this is the assassin's creed:
to stealthily stalk subjects and survey as they sleep...
as they work... as they eat...
patiently seeking that singular second for a moment of speed:
bullets from most snipers, in that singular second, travel thousands of feet.

cylinder screwed to the muzzle muffled the deed,
through six yards with swimming pools and two neighbourhood streets...
clean through the screen door... mission complete.

[Cereal]

NYCSPITZ:

pretty cool little diddy it was a bit rough around the edges like just abit childish in the way of vocab some nice flow but in general very amateur nt much to say about this piece because its very short..

symetrik:

this was pretty decent it was much the same as nys but was cleaner with more advanced rythm and more advanced flow.. i like the little story you put to it.. cool cool piece..

vote = symetrik

just an all round doper piece thanks..

[brokenhal0]

Nycspitz:
Alot of energy alot of power
felt like a practice flex/battle piece still raw nasty stylish
i enjoy the violence needed more story or environment to die in
still a strong flex

Symetrik: This read like a song which is a good thing this a verse
that would sound good recorded it's tight direct to the point
it sticks to the topic at hand ,, IMO it was a perfect written
to the point of being a little to perfect
some added abstractions or internals would have added depth but that's subjective


MVGT -- TIE

[Universe]

What a waste of a cool topic. Ugh.

NYCSPITZ:

Verses like these are honestly all I thought you were capable of for the longest time lol. I never actually saw anything of substance from you so I assumed you were basically a joke.

Then I saw you try...

Then I watched in horror as you beat me clean in the center of the ring... 1, 2, 3.

You're so much better than this but I also know that this is an intended throwaway/troll and you don't really give a fuck, so... it is what it is. Sad to see you go the way of everyone else that thinks it isn't worth giving an effort here. Writing is writing, and you could benefit from using this outlet as a way of keeping you warmed up for what you really want to do.

I know you're writing a screenplay... and I have no idea how good you are in that realm or what level of success you have achieved, but this is coming from someone who has sold three of them and has 1 indy under his belt, one in pre-production, and one in post that will be out this year on Amazon Prime and Hulu (possibly Netflix)...

Trust me... This matters.

It's a great way to keep you in the practice of writing everyday without getting too burned out on your script, novel, etc. It keeps your mind fertile, and in doing so, can dredge up ideas that otherwise would stay buried away.

I don't know... Just trying to inspire you a bit.

Plus I'm a fan of yours so here's hoping for some season 10 NYC rearing it's ugly head at least once or twice this year.


symetrik:

First of all, I HATE that you springboarded off of NYC's verse the way you did after admitting you had no ideas and would most likely no-show... I just think this topic had so much potential and you, as a creative person, could have killed this. I felt it should've been right up your alley with the constant changes in characters and the ability to tell a story of different time periods linking them all back to the Animus or whatever.

I was disheartened when I saw you ask for a "tight 8". Wtf man. I want to see what you're capable of. NYC has proven himself, you haven't. At least not to me.

Anyway, taking everything at face value because I have no other choice, you definitely had the better topical verse here, because it was really the only one that stayed consistent and told some semblance of a story. I actually thought this was better than your other 2 verses lol and would've loved to see you continue with it. Great pacing and wording and just... clean. Would've made for a cool intro.

Too bad this was little more than a joke of a battle... Could've been great.

Vote: sym

[Diablo]

reserving spot for vote

ive typed entirely too much today

gonna need to write this out

[Pharaohs Army]

NYC

Kind of a trolly/Sinacog type verse it looks to me...

Not saying the beginning doesn't have some COOL rhymes...which it does.

Really a hard "no" on line 5 though, where you rhyme Dead with Dead. Didn't like it.
The ending is also kind of shocking dissonance.

Anyway, if you stick around the league and write a true quality NYCSPITZ verse some week, I will try to do it justice with feed and it would probably win. Not this one here though; sorry.
-----

Sym

Rather simple verse about an assassination. I say simple due to the length and lack of depth... but it was technically well done. So props for that.
But it didn't 'wow' me, and I did not like the repetition of "singular second" (despite it being alliteration that matches the "S's" on line 2),
but the rhymes and descriptions were decent, so I think it's enough to take the W

V Sym

We netcees have to find a middle ground in my opinion.
8 is way too short but 64+ is way too long... and even 48 unless it's really captivating. Just my opinion.

[Scar]

NYC dammit spitz, what is this? I’m mean the rhyming was impressive. It had crazy train of thought. It employed various elements of the pic so I can’t say it wasn’t on topic. It just had very little comment. Seems like ur channeling my best friend Andrew Flores for this one.

Sym this was an interesting take on the topic. I like the singular seconds repetition. Like everyone has a build up to that one particular moment. I think it’s supposed comment on that one moment in life despite the different paths. Interesting.

Vote/ Symetrick.

[Frank]

@symetrik
WINS!