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09-04-2016, 03:36 PM
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#1 |
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LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II
Rep Power: 85899395   |
"Letter To My Unborn Child"
...
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- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) Last edited by sral; 01-16-2021 at 03:52 PM. |
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09-04-2016, 03:38 PM
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#2 |
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LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II
Rep Power: 85899395 |
INB4 "HOW WOULD YOUR FIRST BORN EVEN BE ABLE
TO READ THIS?!" ASSHOLES
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- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) |
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09-05-2016, 07:56 AM
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#3 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 614
Battle Record: 15-16
Champed - Write Week 9
Rep Power: 9768091 |
top notch, very heartfelt!
"Show them you're motivated to face up to challenges focusing solely on whatever makes you the happiest. Use change as the catalyst to start up and you'll see failure's embarrassing only if you don't try harder to succeed." if y'all realised just how quickly this was wrote, you'd be even more impressed. |
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09-05-2016, 10:21 AM
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#4 |
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Try this shit
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: uninhabitable
Posts: 365
Battle Record: 5-11
Rep Power: 0   |
I'm gonna quote you on this for a status.
This is a master piece.
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09-05-2016, 03:24 PM
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#5 |
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Lime Life
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,978
Battle Record: 30-41
Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded
Champed - Lyric Olympics
- Summer Classic
Rep Power: 85235118 |
I haven't read this...but I too wrote a letter to my child about a week before he was born...I have it stored away for when he's older.
Will read this after work.
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He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime.  |
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09-05-2016, 05:07 PM
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#6 |
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death warmed over
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Downstairs illstreet dam
Posts: 2,564
Battle Record: 6-21
Rep Power: 0 |
I too haven't read this yet... will peep when I get a chance...
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https://soundcloud.com/user-876573949/ https://soundcloud.com/user-634430314/ |
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09-07-2016, 05:29 PM
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#7 | |
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obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,709
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599682  |
A lot of cliches in writing, which isn't necessarily bad, you do it particularly decent, but I can't get past the tonal similarity in a lot of the things you write, be it mechanically, or solidarity in essence, it just seems very particular. Peculiar enough, it's done very crisp and wordy. Organized and shoveled. that's what you do great, I can say. Also the schematics in which you rhyme just ring an almost OCD type of advanced super advanced Dr. Seuss. It's almost too predictable. This is one not my qualms. Heartfelt, though. And for that, thanks
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precision defender Quote:
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09-09-2016, 11:53 AM
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#8 |
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Pay Homage
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: La Luna
Posts: 254
Battle Record: 2-3
Rep Power: 0 |
Nobody said it would easy, so don't make a habit of rushing,
some leave the road to success to pursue a path to destruction. dope stuff here baron
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09-10-2016, 12:53 PM
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#9 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,228
Champed - NWL Season 2
- Art of Writing League (5x)
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- AOWL Season 6
- AOWL Season 10
Rep Power: 3853347 |
You are the Tony Robbins of Topical Writing
Motivational. I would like it if you would drop another verse in the next few days to commemorate the second round of your tournament. Only right
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VETWORK
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09-12-2016, 06:44 AM
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#10 |
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............
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,934
Battle Record: 3-3
Rep Power: 0 |
Firstly, love the pic...you have a great knack of drawing the reader in...I admire that.You write shit that resonates with people, seem to have this gift in getting what you want across in what appears to be a very simple yet effective way, yet it's not simple in anyway but has a lasting effect, if that makes sense ? The emotion in this piece is dope...thought word usage was also a highlight, made for a near flawless flow...I've nothing negative to say which isn't like me lol, good shit Lars...very enjoyable.
Sorry can't quote my phone on some Ellen thing. Stay upwards. |
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Linear Mode
