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#1 |
Member
Join Date: May 2013
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My drops and style/
will make y'all flop and die/ i'll beat plenty colours outta ya when i pull a cup and dye/ my turn to shine/ get crowned in this crib while rip you swines/ jabs to lips and spines/ to descecrate y'all peepz and guys/ Owkay, time to end it/ i'll halt your flames to cos like insulator, i can stop heat// that's how i do my things
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Reppin My Crib... |
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#2 |
Lime Life
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Eh.
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He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime. ![]() |
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#3 |
Om
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Usually I dont give a fuck about the spelling, but yours made it hard to understand some lines. This was ok , I'd say work on your concepts first and foremost. And write longer pieces bro, honestly something like this shouldve went in the cypher section
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BIRDHORSE 8-15 |
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#4 |
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ok man, i'll take your advice... I'm new here though. You might wanna show me the way. *WINKS*
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Reppin My Crib... |
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#5 |
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Get rid of that / ish. This is text not audio.
Read around the site and feel free to establish your own way of structured but i can honestly say this ain't it. Up the complexity of your scheming and actually pick a solid topic to write about. Your next drop give it all you got and ill feed in detail. Im sure others would too. |
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#6 |
Member
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Okay, thanks
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#7 |
143 is here....
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With this type of writing in this section, you gotta get rid of the "Lil Wayne" type of flow and think that we all are deaf so you have to write some creative lines. No set up words like "Okay" before a line doesn't work. Like Nat said check out the drops here and look at the structure and the flow of the lines and you will get some nice drops going....keep at it young fella...
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#8 |
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Owkay.. Rate this..
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#9 |
Arm the Homeless
Join Date: Jan 2013
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@Rap Maestro go feed some other posts man. I'm tellin you that as a mod because you've upped your post like four times lol, and because I think reading what other guys do around here will help you. It helped me when I first joined here and I've progressed pretty far man. Note how they progress through their rhyme schemes and they're piece and try to emulate that. Also try using bigger words other than just words like die. If you use a bigger word that means the exact same thing suddenly you appear ten times smarter lol. Keep droppin man. And go feed some OMs.
This. Last edited by Geno; 05-20-2013 at 08:36 PM. Reason: oops. didnt mean to edit ur shit zen, was trying to qoute u. |
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#10 | |
White Earl
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
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#11 |
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....see me hype and freeze/
over netcees with different type and Jeez/ what a crap you spitt/ my knock on your head will leave you bald like a famine land in Mogadishu/ and the way i'll tear your barz like a jail bird will make you wonder about more guard issue/ watch and read my verse/ that can easily drown, flush and rid your barz/ cos the way i'll throw jabs in square root on your mouth, you'll wanna learn to read your maths/ i'll put a cent in my middle finger to beat my pound of flesh/ on yo fools... That scramble like rats at the shriek and sound of birds/ but.. Don't be surprised to see me bounce on your biatch cos i've had her bound on bed/ and pull nines with alacrity when Knucklehead found yo dead/ F**k the intro/ cos the genesis of rap just wanna begun, from earned buck of Maestro/ see me move you all in messy diss/ then i'll teach you to play their balls like you've just learnt tricks from Messi's discs/
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#12 | |
Pimp
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Im not to much of a fan to be honest; but from a critique perspective:
Your word choice is almost "over productive" Like Quote:
We all been to the "im about done with my rhyme, bar." Try to stay away from timeframes in the piece unless your on a scheme. Like dont talk about starting or ending a song; dont say "fuck the intro" either. Keep writing G. |
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#13 | |
Member
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#14 |
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Lol. I should venture over here more often...
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