Netcees

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-   Open Mic Section (http://netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=6)
-   -   My Drops, My Style (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=6630)

Rap Maestro 05-19-2013 05:15 PM

My Drops, My Style
 
My drops and style/
will make y'all flop and die/
i'll beat plenty colours outta ya when i pull a cup and dye/
my turn to shine/
get crowned in this crib while rip you swines/
jabs to lips and spines/
to descecrate y'all peepz and guys/
Owkay, time to end it/
i'll halt your flames to cos like insulator, i can stop heat//
that's how i do my things

Witty 05-19-2013 05:19 PM

Eh.

Fig 05-19-2013 05:25 PM

Usually I dont give a fuck about the spelling, but yours made it hard to understand some lines. This was ok , I'd say work on your concepts first and foremost. And write longer pieces bro, honestly something like this shouldve went in the cypher section

Rap Maestro 05-19-2013 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Figurative (Post 60853)
Usually I dont give a fuck about the spelling, but yours made it hard to understand some lines. This was ok , I'd say work on your concepts first and foremost. And write longer pieces bro, honestly something like this shouldve went in the cypher section

ok man, i'll take your advice... I'm new here though. You might wanna show me the way. *WINKS*

Natural 05-19-2013 08:44 PM

Get rid of that / ish. This is text not audio.
Read around the site and feel free to establish your own way of structured but i can honestly say this ain't it.

Up the complexity of your scheming and actually pick a solid topic to write about. Your next drop give it all you got and ill feed in detail. Im sure others would too.

Rap Maestro 05-20-2013 05:11 AM

Okay, thanks

UnoQuattroThres 05-20-2013 09:20 AM

With this type of writing in this section, you gotta get rid of the "Lil Wayne" type of flow and think that we all are deaf so you have to write some creative lines. No set up words like "Okay" before a line doesn't work. Like Nat said check out the drops here and look at the structure and the flow of the lines and you will get some nice drops going....keep at it young fella...

Rap Maestro 05-20-2013 01:19 PM

Owkay.. Rate this..

Zen 05-20-2013 01:26 PM

@Rap Maestro go feed some other posts man. I'm tellin you that as a mod because you've upped your post like four times lol, and because I think reading what other guys do around here will help you. It helped me when I first joined here and I've progressed pretty far man. Note how they progress through their rhyme schemes and they're piece and try to emulate that. Also try using bigger words other than just words like die. If you use a bigger word that means the exact same thing suddenly you appear ten times smarter lol. Keep droppin man. And go feed some OMs.



This.

Rap Maestro 05-20-2013 01:54 PM

....see me hype and freeze/
over netcees with different type and Jeez/
what a crap you spitt/
my knock on your head will leave you bald like a famine land in Mogadishu/
and the way i'll tear your barz like a jail bird will make you wonder about more guard issue/
watch and read my verse/
that can easily drown, flush and rid your barz/
cos the way i'll throw jabs in square root on your mouth, you'll wanna learn to read your maths/
i'll put a cent in my middle finger to beat my pound of flesh/
on yo fools... That scramble like rats at the shriek and sound of birds/
but.. Don't be surprised to see me bounce on your biatch cos i've had her bound on bed/
and pull nines with alacrity when Knucklehead found yo dead/
F**k the intro/
cos the genesis of rap just wanna begun, from earned buck of Maestro/
see me move you all in messy diss/
then i'll teach you to play their balls like you've just learnt tricks from Messi's discs/

Aesthetic 05-20-2013 04:01 PM

Im not to much of a fan to be honest; but from a critique perspective:

Your word choice is almost "over productive" Like
Quote:

to descecrate y'all peepz and "guys"/
you could just say peepz and be done with it.

We all been to the "im about done with my rhyme, bar." Try to stay away from timeframes in the piece unless your on a scheme. Like dont talk about starting or ending a song; dont say "fuck the intro" either.

Keep writing G.

Rap Maestro 05-20-2013 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aesthetic (Post 61141)
Im not to much of a fan to be honest; but from a critique perspective:

Your word choice is almost "over productive" Like you could just say peepz and be done with it.

We all been to the "im about done with my rhyme, bar." Try to stay away from timeframes in the piece unless your on a scheme. Like dont talk about starting or ending a song; dont say "fuck the intro" either.

Keep writing G.

Jeez, Thanks for that Advice.. Lemme try again...

Ghost1 05-20-2013 07:07 PM

Lol. I should venture over here more often...

Geno 05-20-2013 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zenland (Post 61113)
@Rap Maestro go feed some other posts man. I'm tellin you that as a mod because you've upped your post like four times lol, and because I think reading what other guys do around here will help you. It helped me when I first joined here and I've progressed pretty far man. Note how they progress through their rhyme schemes and they're piece and try to emulate that. Also try using bigger words other than just words like die. If you use a bigger word that means the exact same thing suddenly you appear ten times smarter lol. Keep droppin man. And go feed some OMs.



This.

Thissssssss.


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