syllable count..

Dove Dozer · 09-11-2013, 02:45 PM

Lettin loose a bit fellas. Be gentle. Im out of practice.

Let me straighten the record, im a vet kid..
Cause when im blazin a session i get ya hard like sex did...

Even though i rap in a basement,
i leave you bastards in awe..
when i leave cats in amazement,
You a bitch slapped in the jaw..
You know my tactics are raw..
My fuckin craft is amazing..
I got the type of pep in my step,
Thats crackin the pavement
Im an ill cat, puttin ya to sleep like a sick kitten..
better than me? Cut the jokes and quit trippin.
Cause what im writin like..
Is fight night when mike tyson fights..
Something hype.. spit raw?
Ya muhfuckin right
Vicious like a pit dog,
dont tempt me to blast ya..
Comin at ya with shells motherfucker
without the pasta..

Dove Dozer · 09-11-2013, 07:15 PM

I guess ill pen longer verses/flexes to expect any feedback.

Peace

Mike Wrecka · 09-11-2013, 07:26 PM

i dont think its the length no good. its kinda a rhyme about nothing. its a flex piece. which is cool to do on audio, but a little boring to read. so to make up for that you need some sick metaphors and complex rhyme scheme. this didnt really have either tbh.

dont get me wrong im sure it would sound dope on a track. it did have its moments though

cause what im writin like..
Is fight night when mike tyson fights..
Something hype

i enjoyed the scheme there. even though mike tyson doesnt fight anymore. lol damn you said be easy and being harsh. my bad

good to see you posting again. hopefully you get involved in some topical tournys and or leagues. you know im a fan of your work brother. pz.

Dove Dozer · 09-11-2013, 07:33 PM

@Mike Wrecka

Thank man. I feel you on that. Ill have to drop some other shit sometime and try to make a name for myself here. Im too much of the un-noticed grey guy. Ill step things up a bit. Thx for feeding bruh

Geno · 09-11-2013, 07:34 PM

This was pretty fresh.. got illy as fuck imo after the fourth line. Shit was dope nogood. Post more damnit!

Dove Dozer · 09-11-2013, 07:38 PM

Thx @Genocide i appreciate the kind words
@Mike Wrecka as well

You dudes wanna collab?

Pakistani Hand Cannon · 09-11-2013, 07:41 PM

wasnt all that bad, wasnt all that good

Quote:

My fuckin craft is amazing..
I got the type of pep in my step,
Thats crackin the pavement

that ^ was nice

Quote:

Im an ill cat, puttin ya to sleep like a sick kitten..

^ thats just weak

not really much else to say, might peep something else you drop, might not

#1

Dove Dozer · 09-11-2013, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rugged

wasnt all that bad, wasnt all that good

that ^ was nice

^ thats just weak

not really much else to say, might peep something else you drop, might not

#1

All good man. No worries. Thx for reading. I wasnt going for a show stopper here ..just work8n out the kinks flexin a bit like a warm up. This was keyed pretty quick..

Geno · 09-11-2013, 07:46 PM

Always down for a collab. Get a verse to me and I'm all in

Zen · 09-11-2013, 08:26 PM

What up NG? I agree with Mike. It'd be dope to listen to but not too fun to read, but I know you're a talented writer and I'm currently working out my own kinks so I understand lol. Keep droppin bro

Mike Wrecka · 09-11-2013, 08:39 PM

@Genocide @nO gOoD! , send that collab my way when you guys are done and ill get in on it

Geno · 09-11-2013, 08:57 PM

Riteous
@Mike Wrecka. Will do, I think the content will be pretty self explanatory when u see it.. but ill shoot it to you with a breakdown of what's going on

09-11-2013, 07:15 PM	#2
Dove Dozer loose leaf bruce lee Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,077 Battle Record: 7-6 Rep Power: 1853216	I guess ill pen longer verses/flexes to expect any feedback. Peace __________________

09-11-2013, 07:26 PM	#3
Mike Wrecka WOW Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,591 Battle Record: 29-25 Champed - Writing Challenge League I Rep Power: 82779338	i dont think its the length no good. its kinda a rhyme about nothing. its a flex piece. which is cool to do on audio, but a little boring to read. so to make up for that you need some sick metaphors and complex rhyme scheme. this didnt really have either tbh. dont get me wrong im sure it would sound dope on a track. it did have its moments though cause what im writin like.. Is fight night when mike tyson fights.. Something hype i enjoyed the scheme there. even though mike tyson doesnt fight anymore. lol damn you said be easy and being harsh. my bad good to see you posting again. hopefully you get involved in some topical tournys and or leagues. you know im a fan of your work brother. pz. __________________ A.bove T.he R.est

09-11-2013, 07:33 PM	#4
Dove Dozer loose leaf bruce lee Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,077 Battle Record: 7-6 Rep Power: 1853216	@Mike Wrecka Thank man. I feel you on that. Ill have to drop some other shit sometime and try to make a name for myself here. Im too much of the un-noticed grey guy. Ill step things up a bit. Thx for feeding bruh __________________

09-11-2013, 07:34 PM	#5
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	This was pretty fresh.. got illy as fuck imo after the fourth line. Shit was dope nogood. Post more damnit! __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

09-11-2013, 07:38 PM	#6
Dove Dozer loose leaf bruce lee Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,077 Battle Record: 7-6 Rep Power: 1853216	Thx @Genocide i appreciate the kind words @Mike Wrecka as well You dudes wanna collab? __________________

09-11-2013, 02:45 PM	#1
Dove Dozer loose leaf bruce lee Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,077 Battle Record: 7-6 Rep Power: 1853216	syllable count.. Lettin loose a bit fellas. Be gentle. Im out of practice. Let me straighten the record, im a vet kid.. Cause when im blazin a session i get ya hard like sex did... Even though i rap in a basement, i leave you bastards in awe.. when i leave cats in amazement, You a bitch slapped in the jaw.. You know my tactics are raw.. My fuckin craft is amazing.. I got the type of pep in my step, Thats crackin the pavement Im an ill cat, puttin ya to sleep like a sick kitten.. better than me? Cut the jokes and quit trippin. Cause what im writin like.. Is fight night when mike tyson fights.. Something hype.. spit raw? Ya muhfuckin right Vicious like a pit dog, dont tempt me to blast ya.. Comin at ya with shells motherfucker without the pasta.. __________________ Last edited by Dove Dozer; 09-11-2013 at 04:42 PM.

09-11-2013, 07:46 PM	#9
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Always down for a collab. Get a verse to me and I'm all in __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

09-11-2013, 08:26 PM	#10
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	What up NG? I agree with Mike. It'd be dope to listen to but not too fun to read, but I know you're a talented writer and I'm currently working out my own kinks so I understand lol. Keep droppin bro

09-11-2013, 08:39 PM	#11
Mike Wrecka WOW Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,591 Battle Record: 29-25 Champed - Writing Challenge League I Rep Power: 82779338	@Genocide @nO gOoD! , send that collab my way when you guys are done and ill get in on it __________________ A.bove T.he R.est

09-11-2013, 08:57 PM	#12
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Riteous @Mike Wrecka. Will do, I think the content will be pretty self explanatory when u see it.. but ill shoot it to you with a breakdown of what's going on __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*