"The Miracle Cure To End All Your Problems!"

sral · 09-23-2014, 11:05 AM

"THE MIRACLE CURE TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS!

“Is your wife on your back at you coming in late
‘cause she’s tired of you gambling the rent money away?
Had a drunken mistake with that chick at the bar
and now you’re worried she’ll say what a dick that you are?
Was the recession hitting you hard when you agreed arrangements
to take out different cards, and now you’ve no means of payment?
Then what you needs a change and we could lend you some help!
How about a dream vacation at no expense to yourself?
Free from the stress that you’ve felt on life’s merry-go-round
and everything else that’s been getting you down!
This special announcement comes with no commitment to sign
- so why not message us now and give us a try!
An unmissable lifetime opportunity beckons!
Terms and conditions apply, but most are approved within seconds!
If your future looks desperate, there’s not a minute to waste,
so before you’re due to be sectioned – RING US TODAY!
We offer instant escapes from all life’s mean old crap
so stop your whingeing and make it 1-800-REAP-O-MAN!”

There’s a remote flash from my television set
and the screen grows black the very second that it ends.
The message that it sent wasn’t simply misconstrued
because everything it said at the beginning – it was true!
It was as if they knew who masquerades beneath the mask
in offering an interlude for me to stray the beaten path.
I could take the decent stance and face up to my problems,
or embrace the reapers hand and have my troubles forgotten.
So I juggle the options while under duress
before coming to stop on the number for Death!
Fumbling the headset, tears blinding my eyes,
i’ve rung them and said that I’d like to apply.
The guy on the line sounds all too happy to greet me
“Good morning, Life After Life,”. I imagine him beaming.
The formalities seemingly out of the way
we’re back to the reason for my pronouncement today.
“And now then, your name?”, I inhale and then sigh,
…and out of cowardice say the name of my wife.

09-23-2014, 11:05 AM	#1
sral LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: CRUMPETVILLE Posts: 8,605 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899396	"The Miracle Cure To End All Your Problems!" "THE MIRACLE CURE TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS! “Is your wife on your back at you coming in late ‘cause she’s tired of you gambling the rent money away? Had a drunken mistake with that chick at the bar and now you’re worried she’ll say what a dick that you are? Was the recession hitting you hard when you agreed arrangements to take out different cards, and now you’ve no means of payment? Then what you needs a change and we could lend you some help! How about a dream vacation at no expense to yourself? Free from the stress that you’ve felt on life’s merry-go-round and everything else that’s been getting you down! This special announcement comes with no commitment to sign - so why not message us now and give us a try! An unmissable lifetime opportunity beckons! Terms and conditions apply, but most are approved within seconds! If your future looks desperate, there’s not a minute to waste, so before you’re due to be sectioned – RING US TODAY! We offer instant escapes from all life’s mean old crap so stop your whingeing and make it 1-800-REAP-O-MAN!” There’s a remote flash from my television set and the screen grows black the very second that it ends. The message that it sent wasn’t simply misconstrued because everything it said at the beginning – it was true! It was as if they knew who masquerades beneath the mask in offering an interlude for me to stray the beaten path. I could take the decent stance and face up to my problems, or embrace the reapers hand and have my troubles forgotten. So I juggle the options while under duress before coming to stop on the number for Death! Fumbling the headset, tears blinding my eyes, i’ve rung them and said that I’d like to apply. The guy on the line sounds all too happy to greet me “Good morning, Life After Life,”. I imagine him beaming. The formalities seemingly out of the way we’re back to the reason for my pronouncement today. “And now then, your name?”, I inhale and then sigh, …and out of cowardice say the name of my wife. __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)