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#1 |
The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
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I'm...twisted in a vision mixed with the emissions
admittin' I'm very different when my state of thoughts missin' addicted to the high but when I'm lifted I'll dip in do the salsa with a midget until my erection kicks in tips him over and I get blamed for gettin' to the point I'm driven with joy but I hate the absurd scriptures deployed I'm gettin' annoyed but after a hour I dismiss it as coy enjoy the minutes when I'm in it I'll need limited noise I smash heads, bored out my mind with a violin and coke line dreamin' of Spring and December and a million other times like....like....potent prophecy those notes are ghost & gone to me while I brood in hopeless harmony, hoping Hope would honor me open the door so I can continuously quote the GOAT, the God in me I suppose it's a inside joke to poke fun at those who commonly... ordinarily....basically take offense to the shit you say...honestly fuck that, and I quote "fuck that" who am I under the impression just another exception another twist on another expression til' I make another connection and you can tell me what is accepted I'm sorry I'm beside myself...fin
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
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#2 |
Razor-thin derision
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25
Accomplishments - OM HOF
Champed - Fight Night LIV
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Good stuff, the middle had strong spirit in it, esp. with the dense internal rhyming. Not too dense, but just right enough to make it easily readable.
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#3 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: on the couch
Posts: 842
Battle Record: 2-6
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I dig it.
"an hour", just to be a dick. But, I dig your style. Some negativity in it, but you say it like you mean it, and it seems to come from the heart. |
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#4 |
Tsk Tsk
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Beer Goggles
Posts: 4,834
Battle Record: 36-34
Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association
- NFL Pick'em 2016-17
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hmm...Good shit bro. I miss your stories. Like that dinner of death; the round table. Youve produced some really dope verses, all of which have been short. I wish you would focus more on a single verse, just fleshing that shit out and making it epic, yet keeping your signature free flowing, "key style esque" flow. This was a decent track with a few good bars, which was needed considering the length. But there were a few lines that simply weren't as good. Keep, doing you Old Timer
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I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is TUPAC SHAKUR |
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