Privacy in marriage

[TYSON]

How do u feel about it? What's the line that shouldn't be crossed?

Well draw some examples, do you mean shitting while she is brushing her teeth or are we talking emotional boundaries here?

[dull boy]

All depends on what you and they want/expect. You're sharing your life with someone.

Personally, I hate secrets.

[TYSON]

Phone, email, texts, and social networking......

[TYSON]

Originally Posted by dull boy

All depends on what you and they want/expect. You're sharing your life with someone.

Personally, I hate secrets.

I agree

[Objective]

Originally Posted by TYSON

Phone, email, texts, and social networking......

That depends a lot on history/situation as well. If you've given her any reasons not to trust you, then I'd say: give her time to trust you again and be open about anything that might help in order to save the marriage (if the situation is that bad).

If you haven't given her any reasons not to trust you, then I'd say; Tell her you have a life outside of hers with friends etc. as well. They confide in you and she got to respect that you want to hold your word that you wouldn't tell anyone, even to her and emails/phone etc. might jeopardize that. Optional/assess the situation: I'd say that even though you're together you still have a life that deserves privacy and trust from both as well that you'll stay faithful towards each other, and that she got to respect your boundaries as you respect hers. (Between you and me tho'; it's none of her business as long as you're true to her.)

[trap]

Originally Posted by TYSON

Phone, email, texts, and social networking......

There is no line to be crossed in any of these.

If you're in a solid, trusting relationship, you should be telling your significant other interesting or important stories / situations based on those four on a daily basis.

If you're hiding something on any of those that you think might upset your significant other, maybe you shouldn't be in that relationship, or in a relationship at all.

And this is a proverbial "you".

[Objective]

Originally Posted by trap

If you're hiding something on any of those that you think might upset your significant other, maybe you shouldn't be in that relationship, or in a relationship at all.

True, I'd never tell something emotional a friend of mine has told me about his personal life that he struggles with and don't want anyone to know to my SO, unless it's something my SO really NEEDS to know for other reasons than just being curious.

[Template]

best relationships are built on strong foundations of routine and dishonesty. Beatles wrote about it "all you need is routine and dishonesty"

[TYSON]

Hmmm I feel y'all but I'm gon put it out there, don't care. This about my wife actually. The baby's daddy is back in the picture after 6 years which was partly my decision because I feel should know her real father. I have not met the nigga face to face yet because there is past beef between me and him from him threats of bodily harm to each other and don't want drama in front of the child. She has recently said she don't want another after years of trying and a miscarriage knowing that I always wanted a child of my own. I decided to stay with her tho because she is my wife and I love her and didn't marry her just to have a baby. So now he texts her everyday asking about the child from what I'm told. I am a lil concerned tho because before him our phones passwords were known by each other but now hers has changed since she got a new phone. She tells me that the texts and call are only about the child but I doubt it not to say she wants him because he did too much for her to be stupid enough to go back with him. Is it my insecurities playing with me or should be on the offensive about this? Everything seems to be happy between us but damn I have seen and heard so many relationships where things were not what they seemed. ....trolls have your way I will focus on the honesty the few give me

[trap]

I think it depends on the details of the phone calls between those two and whether she's giving them to you.

She probably doesn't want anymore drama as well but there's a thin line here she's trying not to cross but almost has to to help the child and their involvement.

[TYSON]

Originally Posted by trap

I think it depends on the details of the phone calls between those two and whether she's giving them to you.

She probably doesn't want anymore drama as well but there's a thin line here she's trying not to cross but almost has to to help the child and their involvement.

Explain that thin line.

[Tic]

I believe in telling your wife just about everything. There are certain instances like friends with issues as you said, that you necessarily don't have to tell her, but it's nice to talk to someone about that kind of stuff as well.

In your current situation, I'd ask her why the password changed all of a sudden. The fact that it's a "new phone" means nothing on the significance of the password. I'm not trying to say your wife is going behind your back, but if your relationship was open before and you knew her password, there is no reason why you shouldn't know it now that he's back in the picture. If she doesn't share the password with you, then I would get on the offensive. And if she DOES share the password with you but his texts start magically disappearing, the same applies. Hope everything works out and this is just in your mind.

[TYSON]

I can't get over the drama if the nigga can. He blamed me for her not letting him see his daughter but it was all her decision I just backed whatever she wanted to do.

[Destroyer]

the fact that there is a new password is concerning
why would she need to lock you out? it's just shady
I'd be concerned, don't go crazy or anything, but I'd ask her why she feels the need to lock you out of her phone now

[TYSON]

Originally Posted by Tic Tac

I believe in telling your wife just about everything. There are certain instances like friends with issues as you said, that you necessarily don't have to tell her, but it's nice to talk to someone about that kind of stuff as well.

In your current situation, I'd ask her why the password changed all of a sudden. The fact that it's a "new phone" means nothing on the significance of the password. I'm not trying to say your wife is going behind your back, but if your relationship was open before and you knew her password, there is no reason why you shouldn't know it now that he's back in the picture. If she doesn't share the password with you, then I would get on the offensive. And if she DOES share the password with you but his texts start magically disappearing, the same applies. Hope everything works out and this is just in your mind.

Ok but supposedly she found a new password app where it's tap code to unlock and thought it was cool but hasn't gave me the tap code

[trap]

The thin line is that she has to speak to him so he can be more involved in the childs life, but she probably also has to endure his possible ridiculous flirting he might be doing because he can get away with saying these things in between the chat about their child. She probably disregards those stupid flirt texts, or what you would interpret as such, so she is withholding that information to prevent you from getting upset. I'm sure she is handling the situation well, and is also considering your feelings in this matter, and not whatever you might think is happening.

[Tic]

Originally Posted by TYSON

Ok but supposedly she found a new password app where it's tap code to unlock and thought it was cool but hasn't gave me the tap code

Talk to her about it. Don't start attacking her, just have a conversation with her. Tell her how you feel so she can hear it from your perspective.

[Diode]

i don't go through her stuff and she doesn't go through mine.

if either feels the need to, there is no trust in the relationship.

[TYSON]

Originally Posted by trap

The thin line is that she has to speak to him so he can be more involved in the childs life, but she probably also has to endure his possible ridiculous flirting he might be doing because he can get away with saying these things in between the chat about their child. She probably disregards those stupid flirt texts, or what you would interpret as such, so she is withholding that information to prevent you from getting upset. I'm sure she is handling the situation well, and is also considering your feelings in this matter, and not whatever you might think is happening.

This pretty much what I think is going on. I don't think not telling me or withholding them is a good way to avoid drama because it causes drama between me in her instead.