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05-15-2013, 09:39 PM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,709
Battle Record: 9-12
Rep Power: 4997617   |
quick 12
Not a slave to opposition, watch me slay the competition/
Those who lame n talkin shit get dropped n tossed inside a lake to swim with fishes/ You the fakest type of bitches catch a fade with razor blades n pistols/ Im amazing plain and simple, attractin dames w thick frames and major dimples/ I spit game n blame my issues on mistakes ive claimed to make me "miss you"/ Till the bitch sucks me off with no condom on with edible lube n lots of tissue/ The devilish dude to all you christians, ive brought the clues that you've been missin/ Nothings true you're all in prison, in your mind's the proof but only you can find the fiction/ With rhymes i might be gifted, just wait if i get time to write and go the distance/ I might explode and blow existence into a black hole from these prose and showy lipids/ colder then costco's frozen lockers, smooth as liquid, hotter than the hole where satans pitted/ It's just jokes im only kiddin but this kid is known to flow exquisite and you know he knows his business/ Out bitches.
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 Last edited by Just Write; 05-15-2013 at 10:00 PM. Reason: word choice |
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05-15-2013, 10:24 PM
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Om
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6,461
Battle Record: 8-16
Rep Power: 84181562 |
Aye, like how you kept the rhyme scheme consistent here, it was illin. The only gripe for me is that some of these lines feel like run on sentences and I cant find the flow. The first two lines are the best example of that. Either way, decent flex
Quote:
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05-15-2013, 10:30 PM
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#3 |
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loose leaf bruce lee
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,077
Battle Record: 7-6
Rep Power: 1853216 |
This was pretty nice man. Some nice syllables too bruh.. same as fig said though some lines seemed long so i lost the flow. But that could depend on your delivery with it. So its kinda subjective. Dope... regardless from the hardest artists.. hoorah
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05-15-2013, 10:44 PM
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#4 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,709
Battle Record: 9-12
Rep Power: 4997617 |
Lol yea when i spit its rapid fire so you gotta read faster ahaha.. Good lookin on the feed. Drop some links n ill return the favor
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05-15-2013, 10:59 PM
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Om
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6,461
Battle Record: 8-16
Rep Power: 84181562 |
Quote:
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=6412
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05-16-2013, 12:05 AM
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#6 |
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Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Rep Power: 38   |
This was dope...nothing like mind blowing but as for a steady dose of Multies and flow this was dope...I thought it was spot on and I read it pretty quick...I read it twice cause I had a couple hiccups with it because the lines were a little long like people said previously...
Maybe just add some more subject matter next time...I have no qualms with it because I like these little flexes and think it helps u as an overall rapper...this was some good shit and like to see more
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Delirious Nomads
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05-16-2013, 01:19 AM
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#7 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,709
Battle Record: 9-12
Rep Power: 4997617 |
I got you fig, and endsane i feel it, im gunna format this how i pause n shit and yea this was a spurt of boredom type thing i did at work. Ima make a more content filled piece next time, i you want something fed drop a link and ill hit it up when i get figs
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Linear Mode
