Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Forum > Open Mic Section
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-30-2013, 01:19 PM   #1
Zen
Arm the Homeless
 
Zen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 35079722
Zen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant future
Default The Match and The Fuse

A.K.A. The Impeccable Story of the Inseprable Match and The Fuse

Ok well let me go ahead and tell you this is not intended as a rap song...In fact I don't know what it's intended to be lol. I've messed around with the flow of the song because I can hear the song in my head playing and know when to change it so this might be a difficult read for some just a warning but I figured some of yall might wanna read it. Oh and this is completely different from anything I ever write so it's probably not for everyone.

Feel the wind, Hear the sound
Of the rain hitting the ground.
Fears here again, So much that you can taste it at last
As you see the thunder crash
So...
God damnit the Night's getting Darker, Ever since the Last Time I Saw Her
And now my Might's drifiting Farther, I'm just wondering what it's Like Bein A Father
But Now...
I wish I could tell ya but I don't know and that's the truth
Sometimes I Just feel like a failure and goin on has no use
I wish I could get out this trailer and kill my bastard roots
And Now...
I feel like half a recluse, I don't even remember why I'm mad at you
Maybe we're a match and a fuse, Baby we're a match and a fuse
So I say We...
Light it Quick, Ain't no reason to fight this shit
This is the only life we get, And you best believe I'd die for it
What about you?
Now I know you got feelings too, So let's say Me and You
We Decide to see it through, Then would you believe it's true
Now...
I don't know if I'm okay I suppose I'm right in between
But I was thinkin someday You'd sit at my side as my queen
Now I do what I say, and I say what I mean
But sometimes you gotta pay with life for your dreams
Zen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2013, 09:07 PM   #2
Geno
White Earl
 
Geno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 12,354
Battle Record: 10-15

Accomplishments
- Open Mic HOF (4x)

Champed
- Netcees Writers League
- Write Week I
- Write Week 8

Rep Power: 50036761
Geno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant future
Send a message via AIM to Geno
Default

Upping for feed.
__________________
-A.bove T.he R.est
Geno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2013, 11:29 PM   #3
Camp Bell
Senior Member
 
Camp Bell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 733
Battle Record: 10-18



Rep Power: 0
Camp Bell Camp Bell Camp Bell Camp Bell Camp Bell Camp Bell Camp Bell Camp Bell Camp Bell Camp Bell Camp Bell
Default

this was perfect...had a nice flow all the way through, concept was consistent
it had that poem feel, maybe with a beat, it would be a dope verse to a song..
my faves:

God damnit the Night's getting Darker, Ever since the Last Time I Saw Her
And now my Might's drifiting Farther, I'm just wondering what it's Like Bein A Father
But Now...

This is the only life we get, And you best believe I'd die for it
What about you?
Now I know you got feelings too, So let's say Me and You
We Decide to see it through, Then would you believe it's true
Now...

I don't know if I'm okay I suppose I'm right in between
But I was thinkin someday You'd sit at my side as my queen
Now I do what I say, and I say what I mean
But sometimes you gotta pay with life for your dreams
__________________
get high. write rhymes.
Camp Bell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2013, 12:12 PM   #4
Zen
Arm the Homeless
 
Zen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 35079722
Zen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant future
Default

Appreciate that Camp. Much love
Zen is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:23 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+