WEEK FIFTEEN: BROKENHAL0 (7-6) vs WHITE LGI (0-0) LGI WINS VIA NS

[Adverse]

AOWL Season X WEEK FIFTEEN
@brokenhal0 @White LGI

Verse Due: WEDNESDAY AUGUST 4TH @ 11:59PM

Line min: 10

Max: 40


Rules: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150311

Topic:







GOOD LUCK

[White LGI]

Aight

[White LGI]

Cigarette smoke, stale beer and cheap cologne filled the air,
Arrived following shattered dreams, Insecurity and despair
Habits have turned life into one long con...
Next victim has no name but commonly known as John
I sit In a white chair at the pink flamingo hotel..
Praying the hoe Don't tell and all goes well...
a man to my right, asking for a light, I know his face, I know that scar...
As I try to recollect, oh shit, that's the car,
It pulls in, the couple exits and head for room 202...
Door shuts behind them, that's my cue, time to do what I'm here to do...
Felt my waist, the guns in place, crept to the door, shit there's that face....
All I can focus on is that scar, then their was nothingness
What the fuck is this, I can't move tied to a bed post ropes clutch my wrist...
Look around, there's the John and the bitch..I Been set up from the get...
Man with the familiar face rubbing the scar....remember this?
Fuck, that's a John from the month before, here to even the score,
Karma a dirty whore, she's about to give me a std im sure,
All I can do is await my fate....wondering how bad it'll be,
I just realized my pants at my knees, dude with scar walks towards me...
Says paybacks a bitch...pulls out his dick...
I let out a gasp....as he jams his dick in my ass...
He thrust I scream....he thrust I scream....
He thrust I scream.....he says paybacks a bitch you dirty scum...I hope you as miserable as you'll ever be....
I bet he'd really be pissed to know his dick feels heavenly....

[brokenhal0]

''Travesty''


Neon lights flicker off the I95 travis is driving drunk again
its midnight I think ran he over a skunk again
he can't keep shutting his eyes his eyes have sunken in
travis is bent yea 'he's drunk again'
a day spent on the road washing away blood stains and prints
he pulls into the parking lot feeling like shit all he needs is a mini bar
and a bed to rest all he needs is to drive really far and find a ditch
he already got 10 dui's no license and his cars stolen
his dead girlfriends in the trunk with shovels and hefty bags heart broken
covered in mud no need to draw attention after tonight he's covering it up
an old man sitting on a lawn chair outside under a phosphorus flamingo
peers into travis eyes and sheds a singular tear knowing travis demise is near
a phantom is watching him through the ivy covered windows
if lifes a sphere ever revolving the revolver in his glove compartment
is a cure for counting the years before he leaves the county
travis stares into the entrance door its as if the entrance drawn
he sees a guitar strapped to the wall and hears a phones ringing call
he opens the door and ask the man behind the counter how much for a night
the man behind the counter replies nothing at all
the man hands travis rusty keys whispering your rooms upstairs to the left
last door behind the hall the man hands him a sheet to cover his bed
travis shrugs his shoulders walking away and lowers his head
you can smell the spirit of murder and regret
its noticeable especially when it's mixed with the vodka on his breath
he walks upstairs seeing doors locked with dead bolted chains
he looks through a half open door and sees a empty room with graffiti on the wall
saying ''no hope remains'' it's as if the motel has been condemned for years
maybe hes the lucky man who can get away maybe she put something in his beers
the thought of being alone always gave travis a hint of fear but the sleep remains
he says to himself at least i can rest in peace
while that lady he loved is chopped into pieces in the trunk of his old caprice
travis gets to the end of the hall hopefully his room has cable tv
he puts in the key the lock opens the door slowly creeks
a black cat runs out the room startled travis jumps back and shrieks
his heart racing as he hears the rain increase he walks in flicks the switch
there’s a torn up poster of marilyn monroe hanging on the wall
her eyes are missing and she got horns drawn in red lipstick
the doors slams shut behind travis and the ceiling lights flicker
a record player starts playing music that sounds harsh and dusty
the closet opens and travis's girlfriend comes crawling out
like a his last fiance wrapped in an old bed sheet
travis screams at top of his lungs I KILLED YOU BITCH what have you done
pulling the knob trying to escape frantically smug
the fear that he felt quickly sobered him up her eyes glow green
she's covered with maggots her naked body dripping in blood
I hear the brass band playing like an ecstatic mob
while she telekinetically starts lifting him up travis starts feeling his skin ripping apart
she lets out a howl and travis feels a vice gripping his heart her bloody lips give him a kiss in the dark
he screams for help but is totally ignored cause from the outside looking in
you can see the padlocks and chains on his door for eternity he will face his hell
out in the parking lot her body rots in the caprice and someone calls the police days later
cause they hate the smell in the motel her spirit got it's vengeance to say the least
in reality the pink flamingo was condemned back in '63 its a empty vacant lot for years or so it seems
its like a fever dream travis is flung around hitting every wall he can hear all his bones breaking
before she breaks his neck and the floor breaks his fall he experiences his own maiming
at the void of this the pink flamingo sees another night a special place for sinners to go
when they drive down the road of love using motel keys to fuck with life...

[Master Rock]

Lgi had a pretty decent intro and story driven narrative which kept my attention and lured me in with the intro (nice staging). However their were several areas where the flow felt off key to me but honestly keep me intrigued with the scar...which lead me to pay attention for it's significance. The plot twist was wild but homoerotic at the same time (so it's wild either way). Halo on the other hand dropped his most fleshed out story driven narrative to date. He did not faulter one bit only on certain wording placements which can be deemed as subjective. He had color, foreshadowing (apparent if you must say), smell (especially when he states the bar "spirit of regret" that hit), cadence, etc. He took that dark ghost route which was cool, it seemed a little rushed at the end (meaning he could of fleshed out the haunting in the room a bit more by perhaps playing with words and what not.
Overall, white was outwritten by halo but by not much. White definitely got some skills in the back pocket but Halo is swinging an axe against a buther knife... giving it to Halo

[Adverse]

Verses were due Thursday, extensions were given until Friday, everything beyond that was up your opponent

LGI wants the no show win, so he gets it. Sorry @brokenhal0

[Master Rock]

Dang! Oh well.

[i single]

Tbh that’s kind of fuckin cheap to just take the easy no show win like that after halo dropped a dope ass verse

This probably won’t count but halo deserves the W



Edit: LGI is fuckin dogshit