WEEK TEN CHAMP MATCH: FRANK (4-1) vs EVICTION (7-1) FRANK WINS 5-0

[Adverse]

AOWL Season X WEEK TEN

@Eviction @Frank


Verse Due: THURSDAY JUNE 16TH @ 11:59 PM

Line min: 10

Max: 60


Rules: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150311

Topic:






GOOD LUCK

[Eviction]

Welcome to van lear

In 1947 he fabricated bare metal, the death penalty for what the black market sold.
No one believed the war stories he eventually told, coming from a half-hearted soul.
It’s kamikaze on the darkened road, especially when you’re the last target known,
He’s trying to stay above the clouds with no end goal, when the task started cold,
He ignored what was soon to unfold, as the hatred added up, mid-block, gridlocks,
Formed out of nowhere’ blood on dish cloths, multiple sources of DNA criss cross.
Death was hysterical like improv’ there’s more blood on his hands he has to rinse off.
If only his life was a sitcom, you can pull out a wrench from his toolbox to twist plots.
A horror flick you can binge watch’ he carried around that grudge like a gold necklace.
Above the clouds but he didn’t go alone, and he ain’t coming back until they both perish,
A life more gruesome in black & white, if you uncover the darkness there’s no merit.
An endeavor that’s heartless, until they bow down, and learn to respect the old relics.
He purchased the property in van lear, after the war, he could almost see through the bones.
Those hills in Kentucky is a piece for the soul’ the backroad only leads to the stones,
Carved initials from previous owners on that well’ interrupted by screams from the ghost.
Trying to breathe in the mold, with his longest commitment, being the deed to the home.
Trading everything for acreage without selling his soul’ there were moments when its bleak,
He saw a lot of shit when he was homeless because it was hopeless on the street.
He went from coping with the heat, broken to owning something he can open with a key.
He has been through hell and probably won’t realize there’s a rotten corpse floating in the creak.

He ignored the calm before the storm.

Like the welcome to van lear sign, forewarning transients, and a signal to watch the footprints.
Nothing left from the battle, except some memorabilia, and civil war coins got lost in Brooklyn.
Luggage from the battered veteran, go’s missing in flight, it’s what the thieves often look in.
He drove 20 miles, and passed that warning sign, he’s used to being told to dodge the bullet.
A coward would go back home, hide under sunsets, the path he would stagger through.
A panic area when he’s the intruder, the health risk when you ignore what’s bad for you.
It would take a savage crew to live in these catacombs, but that’s something we have to do.
Except we’re doing it alone, hanging from a noose like we’re trying to open a parachute.
He preferred to be up in the air looking down, crows passing by is what he heard all night.
When you lived on cloud 9, you learn to fly, when you’re in the sky you can’t be burned alive.
After retirement he earned the right, to stay inside, close windows; never let the curtains rise.
Blurry eyes on this slippery pasture he can cut through tension wire, with a Kershaw knife.
Plot holes begin with the crossbones, and end with the id tags that are taped to the john doe’s
I feel sorry for whoever has the job role, to throw them in the incinerator and not know..
The origin story of a lost soul, it’s like they let the hot coal burn until the furnace is hollow.
Those melted rocks are hard to swallow, enough to follow the body, right to the drop zone.
That’s how going back to van lear feels like, a fire pit that’s deadly when you go to touch.
When you lift up the tag to reveal the identity, that's how it feels like when you hold a grudge
Like you broke the clutch’ being in the sky gave him that stroke of luck, it’s what he overcome.
Paranoia was the smoking gun, it was like the furnace in the mortuary, whenever he opened up.
That horrendous horizon overlooking snapdragon’s, it’s an unforgiven highlight in a visitors reel.
He can only remember the thrill, the planes passing by is a familiar sound, he’s listening, still..
Living in this menacing field, when away from home his guard was down, missing his shield.
What he witnessed is real, what the innocent feel when trespassing on this sinister hill.

You're now leaving van lear.

[Frank]

Every night before going to bed: Mieke shut her eyes & imagined the terrain of the plains
She seed herself sowing the bed: spudding the vine and dragging her rake through the grains
Nightmares of the locust kept, covers high, barricading her face, raising her blanket: afraid of her fate
The sound of the locust’s legs, sputtered to fly, the invasion of maize: the entire country side was decimated and plagued
Mieke woke up in a sweat, and laid awake—with her mattress drenched, she couldn’t fall back to bed
Perspiration ingrained.
Acres of devastation decayed. Mieke watched as the last locusts back legs chafed & then frayed
The swarming insects faded, then scaped: grainy and vague: off into the distance, she could still feel the wings vibrating her way

The insect had gotten lost in the tomatoes and grapes

Before it got its bearings, settling down, on top of the bale on top of the hay in the shade
Mieke walked straight for the stable and made a bee line for the Young Grass Hoppers sun-bathing-display
It swayed, swaying in the radiation and rays— unaware of Mieke watching, enraged and amazed
The grace on its face: took Mieke back to her babying ways: back when she would wait to play in the malaise of the haze
Wind raced through the glades— as Mieke grabbed the insects by its wings, before it sprang from the blade—
The Young Grasshopper levitated and swang on-to the base of the Daisy, before it fragrantly waned
The locusts regurgitated the nitrates and deteriorated the gate. The leaf's & the petals were misshapen & ate

Mieke tended the fields, she was raised on the plains, with a spade and a grain
Radiating like the oscillation of rays, sweat dripping off of her body: clayed, and then caked

The water had gotten so scarce— they couldn’t irrigate or spray, which lead to the cultivation of waste, contamination and blame
They depended on the precipitation to bathe: to sanitation their drain, to domesticate their game and wash mange off their strays
The duration of their dismay lasted throughout the summer, day by day, the drought made Cape Town suffer
Mieke waited for the condensation to came, but the formation delayed: Mieke waited and prayed
"The lake may evaporate at this rate, until what remains is grave, water receding, excavating their frame
Mieke's generation is waking up to their basins and their banks, desiccated and baked: Mieke, braves the blaze, they used to wade to their waist
Global warming has had a profound impact on the populating race: Mieke & Cape Town are unsure of how to mitigate the glaze
Mieke's eyes began to well up, in a state of pain, as she lowered the container into the purification tank, her eyes welling up, as she yanked on the chain
Raising the dank bucket out of the depreciating estate without a trace in the tray— barely enough water to sustain a vase of bouquets—
The widespread shortage of water caused all of the farmers to fall into desperation and faith
The Cicadas raged, as she made her way through deforestation, dehydrated and faint
Day dreaming of water, salivation insane: Sweat, is the only thing Mieke tasted for days
Trying to keep up her weight and her strength, Mieke savored every sip she was able to take
The day came when Mieke came face to face with the grazing fangs of the locust, before it aviated away—
Mieke finally understood the insect and no longer felt jaded with hate: she too felt too dazed to escape—
Instead of macerating with her rake, Mieke sympathized with the young grass hoppers insatiable pangs
The farmers daughter remembered, playing with raid, waving the spray, fumigation of planes: contemplating her fate
Mieke, shedded a tear, and the Locust thankfully drank— its antennas, perked up, and its waxy wings reverberated with haste

It impatiently waited, unafraid of the razoring rays

The facial expression renegaded blank, as it paced and paced, and debated, whether, to vacate or remain—
Fazed in the rays. The farmers daughters animals stayed and neighed, as drinking water got lower, emaciated their gains

Mieke kneeled down and prayed to her saints, placing her faith, at the flood gates, as the Insect, looked at Mieke: animated and craned
Mother Nature behaved: The clouds began to look grey and strange— her eyes strained to relate
The heat wave of methane made way for the precipitation to break, Mieke, waited decades for salvation to came
As Mieke felt a single droplet graze her bangs. All the insects serenaded and sang—
Her fair weather friends waved and made, carbon footprints, and elevated away—

Together, we're capable of reversing climate changes today
Cape Town’s, saving grace, was, Mieke, that lady prayed for the rain

[Mike Wrecka]

Cool battle

Eviction- story was kind of all over the place imo. First I thought it was about a gun maker , then a war veteran , then someone that worked in a crematory. Maybe that was the progression of the character through the years but the transitions didn’t make that clear enough. Rhymes were good , multis were decent flow was choppy in some spots for me. Overall it was a good effort but you didn’t elevate to the level needed to beat an opponent like Francis

Frank- great story. Enjoyed it throughly. Had some real emotion to it. Good ending too. You continue to string together multis for an almost insane length of lines. And the best part is they all relate to the narrative perfectly. Top tier level stuff here


Eviction gave it his all and that’s commendable. But to beat frank you have to lay down a phenomenal verse. This wasn’t that. Good battle props to both. Evict will get another crack at it in the playoffs.

Vote - Francis

[Master Rock]

Eviction's verse is descent but Frank's goodness...his first few lines basically blew Eviction whole verse in the wind. Just read this, "agined the terrain of the plains
She seed herself sowing the bed: spudding the vine and dragging her rake through the grains"...this is lovely!!! and you can't deny it. Eviction's verse took me effort to go through, his rhymes were of point and he flexed nicely...but I had to utilize extra effort to get through his verse while Frank's verse I easily digested and enjoyed the ride due to the transition into relations with the subjects regarding how the words are supporting into the metamorphosis. Frank got this.

[brokenhal0]

Frank- Just real mastery here in every sense of the word while the repetitive word scheme can become boring when it's half assed when used correctly it is a artform within it self. The meticulous (spell)ing and grammar also help guide the reader along one of the top writtens this season imo


Eviction - I noticed you changed your narrative a bit while still keeping you're usual structure dope i dont know if it would have mattered as your opponent wrote a great story using every trick of the trade

MVGT - Frank

[Adverse]

Eviction
This was a change in style for you completely, as you hadn’t really told many stories based on a third person’s point of view, nor have you really had a “topic” you’re more free form so seeing you base this in our reality and mentioning things like the Civil War and what not was crazy to me. I’m used to you being more free flowing in your work, and you did have that here where you were almost rambling and it works in your usual pieces but I think all having the topic did for you was anchor you to it and not allow you to move about in your usual way. There were some cool bits here and the overall story was alright just seemed to miss the same Mark your pieces usually hit.

Frank
This is our first verse about climate change this season which surprises me lol I liked that that’s what you took from the topic picture. This was a hard one to interpret it without being too on the nose about it but I think you guys handled that well. This was your usual Frank piece but I feel like it was superior to what you posted last week, that story pretty much wrote itself in circle but I liked the progression of your narrative here m. The imagery was awesome, the alliteration, the flow were all impeccable. When you’re firing on all cylinders like this it would be hard for anyone to overcome it. It’s just technical mastery and you’re one of the very few that can bring it week in and week out.

Overall Eviction wasn’t bad this week he just had a couple of missteps and was completely overpowered by the vet

V/Frank

[timeless]

Frank with a typical frank verse with the same rhyme. Gets weird after reading so many like it. Almost gets boring really, like reading prose. Lots of forced words but your story was dope and thats all that matters in the end.

The day came when Mieke came face to face with the grazing fangs of the locust, before it aviated away—
Mieke finally understood the insect and no longer felt jaded with hate: she too felt too dazed to escape—

Very good, sir. Solid.

Eviction seems at a loss from the get-go. The subject and baseline of your story just did not seem too exciting at all but you ran with it anyway. You came too basic to match up with francis, as far as your vocab, metas etc. Your ending was dope but leading up to it was not, work on that.

V. Dank i mean frank