WEEK SEVEN CONTENDERS: FRANK (2-0) vs NYCSPITZ (2-0) NYC WINS 3-2

[Adverse]

AOWL Season X WEEK SEVEN

@Frank @NYCSPITZ

Verse Due: MONDAY MAY 16TH @ 11:59PM EST

Line min: 10

Max: 60


Rules: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150311

Topic:




GOOD LUCK

[NYCSPITZ]

This should be good, heh

[Frank]

Check.

[Frank]

EXT

[NYCSPITZ]

.


There once was a villain - so insane and so impossibly slick…
she cut off Superman’s dick, left it maimed & tossed in a ditch.
Who found the meaning to life’s riddles and resolved all its rifts?
An evil genius, known as the deranged octopus bitch…
Even spider man failed to web her up or rock her with fists
with a single tentacle swing, left spidey in the hospital quick…
Or wolverine coursing rage & adamantine - a monster legit
Disintegrated by octo-goo. NEVER fuck with the deranged octopus bitch!!!!!
Had orgies in Atlantis with mermaids & popped bottles of cris
The most gangsta? Jay told Bey: “Octo’s got it locked with a twist”
Rappers pleaded for her autograph, wanting to mob with her clique…
You know who, faggot. It’s the deranged Octopus bitch…
started a sea creature fetish when she flashed & modeled her tits
then robbed banks and saved the money up with laudable thrift
we even saw her tweet financial advice, making lots of us rich
Was she the villain or hero!?! Big dog…she’s just the deranged octopus bitch!!!

………………..

The baddest woman in the universe? Her name gots to be it
put a gun to the pope’s brain & was absolved of her sins
until the day she disappeared and turned into a monstrous myth
Which begs the question: just who was the deranged octopus bitch?

………………..

They say she was sold into human trafficking by her pops who was sick
in her teens - severely beaten raped, mocked and convinced -
That her name would never make it to the top of the list
At 21, took out one of her sex clients to a secluded lagoon
A quarter mile from a lake, listening to nature’s musical tunes
The lovers were planning escape, and they colluded to move -
out of this desperate situation toward a paradise of…who really knew
Yet just as they left the lagoon, there was an evil/strange consciousness shift
And the inception of her moniker: Deranged octopus bitch

………………..

The lagoon bubbled; went black & blue quicker than hooks to your face
An octopus floated above the water menacingly. They booked it to the lake
freedom! But as the star crossed lovers took their escape…
the creature shot a stream of irradiated goop & gook to their face!!!
Only our hero survived. She awoke at her boss’ beach house
now physically fused with the octopus….she lost it & freaked out
but in a calm voice the octopus spoke, inside of her head…
“don’t hide from your fears and dreams, you can find them instead
I took your eyes as a tribute, but through my own - now you can see
we’ll make all of these bastards pay and even bow at your feet.
Your aura of loss and destruction awoke me from a millennial sleep
So killing your lover was my ‘not a morning person’ penalty fee
but together we’ll rule all of them. Nobody ever meddles with me…
now that we’re one, we’ll create death in the night & further my lunar verse
A poetry of destruction which can conquer the observable universe”

Thus the goddess of death dispatched foes, so focused and regal in killing -
Knowing deep in her heart: every villain’s a hero & every hero’s a villain.
When earth bored her, she portaled to galaxies, nebulae, many unlimited zones
Conquered aliens with malice, but for the greater good. A decision she owned
She hunted down Thanos and battled him for his infinity stones
Her heels dug into his corpse as she screamed “Bitch, just give me the throne!!”
Then she returned to earth. Her beautiful tragic and militant home…
And disappeared during an ocean storm.
evaporating into the rain or the mist…
I don’t know about you, but for many her reign’s got to be missed
They say she slumbers deep inside an ocean cave with lots of her fish
And she’ll whistle your name during the grey nocturne eclipse…
Fisherman talk about her presence:
a terrible life force whispering from the bottomless pits -
out in the open ocean, you can feel her strange, dominant grip
Echoes of the sleeping & deranged octopus bitch.







.

[Frank]

The Ancient Mariner’s fantasized about a mythical creature, with an illustrious gleam,
The Pirates described these Monsters, with gusto, in that encompassing breeze
These men inside these boats bunkers believed in a monster that “disappeared with the Groupers”
Funnels could be seen where the creature tunneled into the depths: steering clear of the rumors…
The spearing of harpoons nearly wounded it, if it weren’t for its quickened ascent,
To a forbidden lagoon, it would’ve ended up in a fisherman’s net
The rippling effect sent the men rocking like those waves “that swallowed those bobbing”
The rescue attempt was lead by an ensemble of frolicking bottle nosed dolphin
There were a lot of watchmen flogging on those lonely nights: out on the South Pacific vignette
Since their wives couldn’t follow them, some swimmed to their death, filled with sorrow, drowning: drifting to bed
To the bottom of the ocean, where there skeletal remains were picked and then left for the coast to indulge
The ocean eroded their souls; crabs shimmied into their head and made homes of their skulls
Wet dreams floated their boats, motored there hulls: tugging at their emotions, barging in on them mentally
The Pirates Wives weren’t open to their blokes being with Mermaids and harbored on jealously
Armed with propeller feet that go with the flow, uncharted and ebbingly, treading water, the seven seas
The men rowed and rowed into the darkness of infidelity, lost in that part of the ocean

Where the sharks readily fed on their desires like a frenzy of chum
Fish swimming in and out of their eyelids, descending and sunk
There exoskeletons plunked & glided over the ocean floor becoming sediment crushed

Bodies washing up alongside the shorelines in treasure trunks, headless and stuffed

The Ancient Mariner spoke of a two faced Creature, with a feminist touch
The Pirates described them as “Cave Leechers” Energy vampires you embedded
Sucking the jelly out of their brain: until there head was a mush
Tentacles clang, severed and munched, on the testicles until they busted and the senses erupt
The creatures head was insane, it made retinas flush with endorphins, just like hundreds of dolphins
Propelling into the end of her cusps, entering the hole, like an embryo, without gender
It was just sex, it never was love
The Monster made men into a shell of their former selves, and then sucked up what was left of their husk
The Pirates Wives were warned of these tales, suspecting their husbands were venturing for lust
So, all of them sailed across the continent, just to see for themselves, and get this debunked
The salt in the sails, tethered to weather the rust, the assault and impalement, of the whales friendly adventurous hump
The Mermaids body, crawling and snailing across the deck in the sun, soft & scaling, gelatin
The suction of the extending cup gripping the deck, like fish on the hook
Its lips quivering wet, body slippery like a Snook, on the ridge of your foot
The ridge of her mouth was ribbed and webbed with uninhibited nooks
Plopping the monster into her mouth, like, dropping a Minnow into an intimate brook
The driftwood barnacles splintered into her and took awhile to pry
The sundial fried it like a shrimp in its hood, being boiled alive in the tide, her body sizzled and cooked
The Killer Puss made the Pirates “AY!” it squished and it squshed with briny thighs
It smelled like fins and guts and trimethylamine oxide, a bucket of trimmings and gook

The Ancient Mariner fantasized about their relationship from The Anglers side
He said he could’ve written a book from the cliff hangers through its anchoring eyes
The Mermaids caught them looking, making them flounder &&&&&& swivel about
The Women caught their attention like a jig in their mouth, pulling them in and ripping them out
Leaving their bodies minced & spouted for fish to spin-in and pounce
Bits of chow drifted into the Squids pouch and the squid spit it out for more fish to twist and devour
The legend of the beautiful women from the inlet towers, the galleon dipped in the shallows, perpendicular bounce
Gorgeous Exotic descriptive accounts, “Coral Aquatic” he said reminiscent about it
They nattered about the sea spray foam, while dipping their fountain pens
Into its ink and swilling it around, like Cephalopods do when there amidst vicious encounters
The Bombshells lured the Pirates in like two hundred n’ fifty pounders
Rigging there slits, The Fisherman’s mounted their rods in the South Pacific Sound

“Weigh Anchor and Hoist the Mizzen! Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!” said The Pirate lifting his brow
The clouds were, like three sheets in the wind: As the women found there men, in the abyss of the bow
”Another whiskey round!” Said the Mermaid, with its fin in its mouth & its flippers about
The conniving wives couldn’t get there sea legs, flipping out, throwing up sick in their mouth
Hurling insults: ”Hands off me booty! You Lilly Livered Wench! Scaly Wagged! Limbless Scoundrels”
Heave-HO! heave-HO! A message in the booby-trapped bottle, pulling their relationship down—
The flask of liquor with its last sipping ounce, had a scripture wound with ribbons—
Shiver me timbers!!! It read: “EAT MY PUSSY” PILLAGED AND BOUND!!!!!!

X

___

The Ancient Mariner’s fantasized about a mythical creature, wit’ an illustrious gleam,
The Pirates described these Monsters, wit’ gusto, in that encompassin’ breeze
These men inside these boats bunkers believed in a monster that “disappeared wit’ the Groupers”
Funnels could be seen where the creature tunneled into the depths: steerin’ clear O’ the rumors…
The spearin’ o’ harpoons nearly wounded it, if it weren’t fer its quickened ascent,
T’ a forbidden lagoon, ‘twould’ve ended up in a fisherman’s net
The ripplin’ effect sent the men rockin’ like those waves “that swallowed those bobbing”
The rescue attempt was lead by an ensemble o’ frolickin’ bottle nosed dolphin
There were a lot o’ watchmen floggin’ on those lonely nights: out on the South Pacific vignette
Since their wives couldn’t follow ‘em, some swimmed t’ thar death, filled wit’ sorrow, drownin’: driftin’ t’ bed
To the bottom o’ the ocean, where thar skeletal remains we be picked and then left fer the coast t’ indulge
The ocean eroded thar souls; crabs shimmied into thar head n’ made homes of thar skulls
Wet dreams floated thar boats, motored thar hulls: tugging at thar emotions, barging in on ‘em mentally
The Pirates Wives weren’t open t’ thar blokes being wit’ Mermaids ‘n harbored on jealously
Armed wit’ propeller feet that go wit’ the flow, uncharted ‘n ebbingly, treading water, the seven seas
The men rowed ‘n rowed into the darkness o’ infidelity, lost in that part o’ the ocean

Where the sharks readily fed on their desires like a frenzy o’ chum
Fish swimming in ‘n out o’ their eyelids, descending ‘n sunk
Thar exoskeletons plunked & glided over the ocean floor becomin’ sediment crushed

Bodies washin’ up alongside the shorelines in treasure trunks, headless ‘n stuffed

The Ancient Mariner spoke O’ a two faced Creature, wit’ a feminist touch
The Pirates described em’ as “Cave Leechers” Energy vampires ye embedded
Suckin’ the jelly out O’ thar brain: ‘til thar head was a mush
Tentacles clang, severed ‘n munched, on the testicles ‘til they busted ‘n thar senses erupt
The creatures head was insane, it made retinas flush wit’ endorphins, jus’ like hundreds O’ dolphins
Propellin’ into the end o’ her cusps, entering yer hole, like an embryo, without gender
It was jus’ sex, it ne’er was love
The Monster made men into a shell O’ thar former selves, ‘n then sucked up wha’ was left O’ thar husk
The Pirates Wives were warned O’ these tales, suspectin’ thar husbands we be venturing fer lust
So, all O’ ‘em sailed across the continent, jus’ t’ see fer themselves, ‘n get this debunked
The salt in the sails, tethered t’ weather the rust, the assault ‘n impalement, O’ the whales’ friendly adventurous hump
The Mermaids body, crawlin’ ‘n snailin’ across the deck in the sun, soft ‘n scalin’, gelatin
The suction O’ the extendin’ cup grippin’ the deck, like fish on the hook
Its lips quiverin’ wet, body slippery like a Snook, on the ridge O’ yer foot
The ridge of her mouth was ribbed and webbed with uninhibited nooks
Ploppin’ the monster into her mouth, like, droppin’ a Minnow into an intimate brook
The driftwood barnacles splintered into her ‘n took awhile t’ pry
The sundial fried it like a shrimp in its hood, bein’ boiled alive in the tide, her body sizzled ‘n cooked
The Killer Puss made the Pirates “AY!”it squished ‘n it squshed wit’ briny thighs
It smelled like fins ‘n guts ‘n trimethylamine oxide, a bucket o’ trimmings ‘n gook

The Ancient Mariner fantasized about thar relationship from The Anglers side
He said he could’ve written a book from the cliff hangers through its anchorin’ eyes
The Mermaids caught em’ lookin’, makin’ ‘em flounder &&&&&& swivel about
The Women caught thar attention like a jig in thar mouth, pullin’ ‘em in ‘n rippin’ ‘em out
Leavin’ thar bodies minced & spouted fer fish t’ spin-in ‘n pounce
Bits O’ chow drifted into the Squids pouch ‘n the squid spit it out fer more fish t’ twist ‘n devour
The legend O’ the beautiful women from the inlet towers, the galleon dipped in the shallows, perpendicular bounce
Gorgeous Exotic descriptive accounts, “Coral Aquatic” he said reminiscent about it
They nattered about the sea spray foam, while dippin’ thar fountain pens
Into its ink ‘n swillin’ it around, like cephalopods do when there amidst vicious encounters
The Bombshells lured the Pirates in like two hundred n’ fifty pounders
Riggin’ thar slits, The Fisherman’s mounted thar rods in the South Pacific Sound

“Weigh Anchor ‘N Hoist the Mizzen! Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!” Said The Pirate liftin’ his brow
The clouds we be like three sheets in the wind: as the women found thar men in the abyss in the bow
”Another Whiskey round” Said the Mermaid, wit’ its fin in its mouth & its flippers about
The connivin’ wives couldn’t get thar sea legs, flippin’ out, throwin’ up sick in thar mouth
Hurlin’ insults: ”Hands off me booty! Ye Lilly Livered Wench! Scaly Wagged! Limbless Scoundrels!”
Heave-Ho! Heave-Ho! A message in the booby-trapped bottle, pullin’ thar relationship down—
A flask o’ liquor wit’ its last sip ‘n ounce, had a scripture wound up wit’ ribbons—
Shiver me timbers!!! It read: “EAT MY PUSSY” PILLAGED ‘N BOUND!!!!!!!

X

[Objective]

I take it, Adverse has gotten mad. This topic is otherworldly insane and I'm looking forward to see how the likes of Frank and NYC flips this.

NYC: cut off Superman's dick, eh? lmfao, ye, insane girl for sure. 10/10, wouldn't date. First stanza read and I'm digging this shit, Marvel should hire you for the next big hit starring the Octopus bitch, lol. It worked with Deadpool so I don't see why she can't have her own comic as well.

The quad-train on your second stanza: Everyone should take note, THIS is how you do repetition well! The second half of your verse (from "The lagoon bubbled") had a really nice shift of tone and brought it all together all the way to the end.

Amazing story and being a fan of Marvel myself it hit a soft spot speaking to me as a reader, it's this kind of creativity and writtens I'm looking forward to reading and voting on. Your verse is of champ match quality imo, you caught the essence of the topic and made it yours. I'm definitely hype for Frank's verse now.

Frank: Your first stanza is dope af, catches the atmosphere and the storytelling in these two sentences alone sent shivers down my spine:

There were a lot of watchmen flogging on those lonely nights: out on the South Pacific vignette
Since their wives couldn’t follow them, some swimmed to their death, filled with sorrow, drowning: drifting to bed"

Just excellent writing right there. Same goes for this shit:

Where the sharks readily fed on their desires like a frenzy of chum
Fish swimming in and out of their eyelids, descending and sunk
There exoskeletons plunked & glided over the ocean floor becoming sediment crushed
Bodies washing up alongside the shorelines in treasure trunks, headless and stuffed
The Ancient Mariner spoke of a two faced Creature, with a feminist touch

Reading on and getting this: "just to see for themselves, and get this debunked", all I can think of is: man, humans are dumb af and if this was a real story it's this exact stupidity that'd happen, lol.

" It smelled like fins and guts and trimethylamine oxide, a bucket of trimmings and gook"
^lmfao, disgusting af. This story reads like a classic black & white horror movie situated around myths, pirates and mermaids and got that cult status no one can touch. Loving the shit out of it, this on some Moby Dick on steroids x10 kind of shit.

The atmosphere and closing stanza is neatly tied in a bottle you wish you didn't reach bottom of cus you know it'll leave you feigning for more. Good fucking shit.

Vote: Champ match worthy battle right here, and it's tough af to choose a winner among these 2 verses cus both are equally dope to me. Storytelling is dope af in both and capture the essence of the topic given extremely well, tons of character and style to both verses.

Unfortunately I have to pick a winner and it honestly boils down to how fucking well NYCSPITZ use of repetition worked for him here. It's such an incredibly rare thing to see done well, and it was a joy each time "THE DERANGED OCTOPUS BITCH!" came into effect. But man, Frank's story is an epic tale as well and wish this could have been a tie cus both of them deserves the W here.

MVGT NYCSPITZ in the best battle this season of AOWL has seen yet!

[Adverse]

I agree with Objective this is probably the best battle we’ve seen this season, on paper it looked like it would be an absolute slobber knocker and what do you know it held true to that

NYC
Repetition in a topical isn’t something I’m entirely fond of when it comes to driving the point home but I think it worked here because it felt almost like you were writing theme music for the deranged octopus bitch, like this entire thing read like a theme song from one of those 80s-90s superhero cartoons and I loved every second of it. Excellent incorporation of humor here I could tell you were having fun with it. Loved the order you told this in too like, showed what your heroine did, then told the origin and then told about what became of her. Was really dope and I enjoyed it

Frank
I’m a big fan of pirate lore and just oceanic stuff in general so this was right up my alley. I liked the way this was told like an old wives tale or something you could almost hear a whistling pirate tune in the background. My only complaint with it is maybe it was a little bit overstuffed? You brought up everything at once like the pirates, the lore, their wives , you painted a lot of dope pictures but I just thought the progression was a little discombobulated because you had so much going on. I guess that’s my only complaint and I thought the ending could have been stronger? My opinion though

MVGT NYCSPITZ

He told a really good narrative that didn’t feel too overstuffed, story progression was better you know? So I’m leaning that way

[Master Rock]

This this was great from both sides in regards to the storytelling. I hope to be where they are in that regard. I'm still struggling on creating a universe like that but it takes one to put themselves deeply in it to create that. Great job from both of you. I really like both. I thought that nyc's verse was a little cheesy at times and a bit corny. But it had a massive amount of depth. Frank on the other side really told an amazing story and really got into the details. I like that the NYC told a story from the person's perspective and I like the fact that Frank story was from the perspective of a pirate. So all in all with these verses both being incredibly detailed and engaging I'll have to give it to NYC based on the stylistic choices of how it flowed because I was able to read nyc's verse in a manner that can be brought with a beat attached. Frank's on the other hand had bits and pieces of rhythm but the rhythm wasn't throughout the verse. Therefore NYC I'm giving it to you.

[Mike Wrecka]

I’m pressed for time so this will be brief my apologies.

NYC - I absolutely hated your take on this topic. It was corny. And cheesy. BUT with that being said you took a terrible take on a topic and made it a fairly enjoyable read. Good flow good end rhymes overall took what was a disaster decision imo and salvaged it. Only you could have done that.

Frank - much more enjoyed this take on topic. The flow was immaculate. Sometimes when I read your stuff I think that some lesser writers might not catch the flow and cadence because it is so advanced and intricate with inners and all types of next level shit going on that if you don’t get on the ride it you might miss it’s brilliance. I loved the different aspects of the ocean and the imagery used.

Overall just thought Frank had the better take AND imo the better flow and imagery. It was very close but i got

Frank

[Frank]

@Mr. J @timeless

@Adverse

[brokenhal0]

I gotta go with FRANK on this one ,.. this is one of the closest battles all season...and honestly if your feeling the dark humor grind house character development crazyness NyCspitz is the easy vote... if you feel like jumping off a bridge into the river of madness and rhyme scheme then maybe frank is ya pick....Illl feel like jumping off the bridge today .... like many battles this season alot of subjectivity both of these manpoets dropped gems...it's for the love of the art..

FRANK ....by a tick mite