on compulsion

dead man · 05-10-2018, 12:33 AM

i'm

painfully distant.
same old tricks. aging magician
nothing sacred, see: pagan tradition
pray me alive, televangelist grind
faithful apprentice, narrative symbolism. self-
fulfill a prophecy and make it a mission
delayed repetition. that's the danger of
symmetry. obsess on duplication
lose yourself in the differences
selective sentences, pages apart
waste of an art form. televisual altar,
VHS tapes labeled in marker
masking tape like faces covered total facade
the prophet nobody voted for and nobody wanted
threw a stone in the pond. if it splashes i'm fine
don't ask me why.
just another new compulsion arising

dm

El Muffin · 05-10-2018, 03:25 AM

ridiculous

the sublety

televisual altar..phew

this submission was a chiseled one.. refined man i fw it

Geno · 05-10-2018, 07:13 AM

The opening. 2dope

ACTIVATE SELF · 05-10-2018, 09:18 AM

Quote:

"i'm

painfully distant.
same old tricks. aging magician
nothing sacred, see: pagan tradition
pray me alive, televangelist grind"

"waste of an art form. televisual altar,
VHS tapes labeled in marker"

That was dope.

The whole thing really.

Great snippet.

Peace.

PancakeBrah · 05-11-2018, 07:30 PM

Ridiculous.

sral · 05-13-2018, 07:20 AM

I loved the opener. The television as an alter and VHS labelled in marker is def an image i can relate to for real.

This is way better than some of the other verses at the top of page one.

BUMP!

Sinacog · 01-30-2019, 12:58 PM

This was a decent read, Dead man.

I always enjoy your works, they're quite entertaining and fulfilling to me. You have quite a good way of crafting your craft to fulfillment - which I enjoy. You don't seem to stray from your topic; - as the topic is about you; - and you write about yourself quite well. I don't seem anything wrong with this piece. Seemed quite good. The 'self fulfilling prophecy' line was very good, so was the duplication. I enjoyed more of these lines, as-well as the imagery. I enjoyed this piece, as it was quite good. Some lines I felt should be thought of a second time perhaps? The 'voting for prophet' comes to mind - people don't usually vote for prophets. Prophets are sacred people; - chosen by the gods to complete tasks for the prosperity of people. You don't vote for prophets..lol..that's for something else..but this was quite good. I enjoyed this piece, and it's creativity; imagery; and symbolism to other things and to yourself. Good work, Dead Man. I'll read more of your work in the later time, good write..keep writing!

05-10-2018, 12:33 AM	#1
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	on compulsion i'm painfully distant. same old tricks. aging magician nothing sacred, see: pagan tradition pray me alive, televangelist grind faithful apprentice, narrative symbolism. self- fulfill a prophecy and make it a mission delayed repetition. that's the danger of symmetry. obsess on duplication lose yourself in the differences selective sentences, pages apart waste of an art form. televisual altar, VHS tapes labeled in marker masking tape like faces covered total facade the prophet nobody voted for and nobody wanted threw a stone in the pond. if it splashes i'm fine don't ask me why. just another new compulsion arising dm __________________ Zack Wicks for president

05-10-2018, 03:25 AM	#2
El Muffin DOHpe since 02' Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Surrounded by white ppl Posts: 14,690 Battle Record: 43-24 Champed - Netcees Battle League - 1-2 Punch Onslaught - 1-2 Punch League - Hot or Thot Roast - Hot or Thot 2018 - Fight Night 11 - NPL Roast Rep Power: 34230535	ridiculous the sublety televisual altar..phew this submission was a chiseled one.. refined man i fw it __________________ It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople Last edited by El Muffin; 05-10-2018 at 03:27 AM.

05-10-2018, 07:13 AM	#3
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	The opening. 2dope __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

05-11-2018, 07:30 PM	#5
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	Ridiculous. __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder

05-13-2018, 07:20 AM	#6
sral LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: CRUMPETVILLE Posts: 8,605 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899396	I loved the opener. The television as an alter and VHS labelled in marker is def an image i can relate to for real. This is way better than some of the other verses at the top of page one. BUMP! __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)

01-30-2019, 12:58 PM	#7
Sinacog R.Killsbury 3000 Join Date: Dec 2018 Posts: 2,299 Battle Record: 4-25 Rep Power: 8129215	This was a decent read, Dead man. I always enjoy your works, they're quite entertaining and fulfilling to me. You have quite a good way of crafting your craft to fulfillment - which I enjoy. You don't seem to stray from your topic; - as the topic is about you; - and you write about yourself quite well. I don't seem anything wrong with this piece. Seemed quite good. The 'self fulfilling prophecy' line was very good, so was the duplication. I enjoyed more of these lines, as-well as the imagery. I enjoyed this piece, as it was quite good. Some lines I felt should be thought of a second time perhaps? The 'voting for prophet' comes to mind - people don't usually vote for prophets. Prophets are sacred people; - chosen by the gods to complete tasks for the prosperity of people. You don't vote for prophets..lol..that's for something else..but this was quite good. I enjoyed this piece, and it's creativity; imagery; and symbolism to other things and to yourself. Good work, Dead Man. I'll read more of your work in the later time, good write..keep writing!