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#1 |
DOHpe since 02'
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Surrounded by white ppl
Posts: 14,690
Battle Record: 43-24
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- 1-2 Punch Onslaught
- 1-2 Punch League
- Hot or Thot Roast
- Hot or Thot 2018
- Fight Night 11
- NPL Roast
Rep Power: 34230535 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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FOR PIC BATTLE DUDE NO SHOWED IN
verse here in a sec
__________________
It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you
Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople Last edited by El Muffin; 09-13-2014 at 06:23 PM. |
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#2 |
DOHpe since 02'
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Surrounded by white ppl
Posts: 14,690
Battle Record: 43-24
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- 1-2 Punch Onslaught
- 1-2 Punch League
- Hot or Thot Roast
- Hot or Thot 2018
- Fight Night 11
- NPL Roast
Rep Power: 34230535 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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rough draft for dude
Im always gone. No time for battles when you Get Money While you on Nc all Day n Nite' looking like a crack addled Kid Cudi The irony its killing me. I admire its folly Heard "you wanted to Take that Cruise"..i bet you did you Pirate Somali Ur lifes in the hot seat.. ending this threat..never pretend your a Vet But if u sign my "Violent by Design Cover"..my friend ill be forever in debt Please? psh..fuck with me..get plyboard buried Ebola has a few unidentified cases...n this nigga looking like the Typhoid Mary Looking like Frog Spliced w/ Lizard..im not laughin that's no jest But if im not mistaken all Scientific Experiments have to have a Control Test Never a Street Fighter..effeminate nig tryna floss? he killed You prolly think Yoga Fire'..but tell the world how the hell you inherited Dhalsim's build I got that Work. w/out it you cant function faggot Ill make sum moves....u go poach a few elephant tusks....We'll make sumthin happen. Your weak and lame. Jesus Christ whyd you unleash those fangs? You smile as if its all peace, love, and Family but every one of your teeth Estranged
__________________
It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you
Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople |
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#3 |
DOHpe since 02'
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Surrounded by white ppl
Posts: 14,690
Battle Record: 43-24
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- 1-2 Punch Onslaught
- 1-2 Punch League
- Hot or Thot Roast
- Hot or Thot 2018
- Fight Night 11
- NPL Roast
Rep Power: 34230535 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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up. wtf
__________________
It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you
Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople |
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#4 | |
βгοкε ㄴεςηαг
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 2,245
Battle Record: 9-4
Champed - 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12760964 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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#5 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,709
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599682 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Didn't like it. Thought broke was being very generous. Very straightforward and lacked any punch imo. Feel you do better in cipher threads? Idk, maybe you didn't hit your stride, but it was very confined. Also I felt you use a lot of words but don't really say much. I know we can't feel what you're saying, but atleast create an image of what I think you might be saying or how youre saying it? Also refrain from using ellipsis so often. It's kind of a turn off and it defines too much of what youre going to do and HOW YOU WRITE. It's not good. I dont like them being used much, and very rarely like when they're used. They just aren't in the right state of mind, really. The time you should utilize them, is at the change of heart, or an abrupt burst of something in the other direction. What you're doing is using them as a break for a set-up to the punchline or diss. IT's just a bit staggered, and I don't think it takes you in the right direction. I also think it limits you from what you can do, as a cop-out? idk. The ideas were okay, some of them had a factor but nothing really, THAT crazy. Like I said I think the way you set-up is becoming formulaic, almost. Switch it up, I think.
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#6 |
DOHpe since 02'
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Surrounded by white ppl
Posts: 14,690
Battle Record: 43-24
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- 1-2 Punch Onslaught
- 1-2 Punch League
- Hot or Thot Roast
- Hot or Thot 2018
- Fight Night 11
- NPL Roast
Rep Power: 34230535 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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thx.
nothing but a typical battle verse. ur criticism of my setups n ellipsis was weird considering ive been battling like that for ever(not as a copout...just structure based) n nvr heard that recommendation interesting thx agen I dont get wot ur saying about sun things...like u were easily lost..difficult to tell wot direction im goun in? everything is self explanatory except my scientific experiment shit hold on.. no punches? I guess sayin dude looks like a crackhead kid cudi when he actually does not aggressive enuf? I guarantee I can field this verse ur readin this lika open mic or suthin dude..I do the exact same thinf in ciphers?
__________________
It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you
Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople Last edited by El Muffin; 09-14-2014 at 12:01 PM. |
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#7 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,709
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599682 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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just trying to help, yeah its better than a lot of people who 'text battle' i just see things that could be done better. If you think this is the pinnacle of your skill, then so be it lol. I'm not reading it as an open mic. I see you do this as a hobby and I'm offering advice which would appeal to more than just your circle of losers. Good day young muff, you aiight.
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#8 |
DOHpe since 02'
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Surrounded by white ppl
Posts: 14,690
Battle Record: 43-24
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- 1-2 Punch Onslaught
- 1-2 Punch League
- Hot or Thot Roast
- Hot or Thot 2018
- Fight Night 11
- NPL Roast
Rep Power: 34230535 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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thx.
no @ pinnacle of skill tho im more rusty than anything I appreciate ur input goodday
__________________
It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you
Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople |
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