Muff vs Ctrl f4 Verse. (need feed)
 

FOR PIC BATTLE DUDE NO SHOWED IN


verse here in a sec

rough draft for dude

Im always gone. No time for battles when you Get Money
While you on Nc all Day n Nite' looking like a crack addled Kid Cudi
The irony its killing me. I admire its folly
Heard "you wanted to Take that Cruise"..i bet you did you Pirate Somali
Ur lifes in the hot seat.. ending this threat..never pretend your a Vet
But if u sign my "Violent by Design Cover"..my friend ill be forever in debt
Please? psh..fuck with me..get plyboard buried
Ebola has a few unidentified cases...n this nigga looking like the Typhoid Mary
Looking like Frog Spliced w/ Lizard..im not laughin that's no jest
But if im not mistaken all Scientific Experiments have to have a Control Test
Never a Street Fighter..effeminate nig tryna floss? he killed
You prolly think Yoga Fire'..but tell the world how the hell you inherited Dhalsim's build
I got that Work. w/out it you cant function faggot
Ill make sum moves....u go poach a few elephant tusks....We'll make sumthin happen.
Your weak and lame. Jesus Christ whyd you unleash those fangs?
You smile as if its all peace, love, and Family but every one of your teeth Estranged

up. wtf

There was very little of this verse that I didn't enjoy and those bars have been omitted. The VBD cover was my favorite bar. Overall a humorous verse. Shame it was NS' ed.

Didn't like it. Thought broke was being very generous. Very straightforward and lacked any punch imo. Feel you do better in cipher threads? Idk, maybe you didn't hit your stride, but it was very confined. Also I felt you use a lot of words but don't really say much. I know we can't feel what you're saying, but atleast create an image of what I think you might be saying or how youre saying it? Also refrain from using ellipsis so often. It's kind of a turn off and it defines too much of what youre going to do and HOW YOU WRITE. It's not good. I dont like them being used much, and very rarely like when they're used. They just aren't in the right state of mind, really. The time you should utilize them, is at the change of heart, or an abrupt burst of something in the other direction. What you're doing is using them as a break for a set-up to the punchline or diss. IT's just a bit staggered, and I don't think it takes you in the right direction. I also think it limits you from what you can do, as a cop-out? idk. The ideas were okay, some of them had a factor but nothing really, THAT crazy. Like I said I think the way you set-up is becoming formulaic, almost. Switch it up, I think.

thx.

nothing but a typical battle verse.

ur criticism of my setups n ellipsis was weird considering ive been battling like that for ever(not as a copout...just structure based) n nvr heard that recommendation

interesting

thx agen

I dont get wot ur saying about sun things...like u were easily lost..difficult to tell wot direction im goun in?

everything is self explanatory except my scientific experiment shit

hold on..

no punches?

I guess sayin dude looks like a crackhead kid cudi when he actually does not aggressive enuf?

I guarantee I can field this verse

ur readin this lika open mic or suthin dude..I do the exact same thinf in ciphers?

just trying to help, yeah its better than a lot of people who 'text battle' i just see things that could be done better. If you think this is the pinnacle of your skill, then so be it lol. I'm not reading it as an open mic. I see you do this as a hobby and I'm offering advice which would appeal to more than just your circle of losers. Good day young muff, you aiight.

thx.

no @ pinnacle of skill tho

im more rusty than anything

I appreciate ur input

goodday