Emptyness

[Geno]

So many steps, to many thoughts that roll through my head
This hole in my chest, feels bigger than ever, im sober again
shit that needs to be wrote with a pen, open, closer to death
older, ghost in the flesh, demons dont age, growing in depth
ive got a beautiful girlfriend, that doesnt know who i am
That doesnt know i pretend, im not nuts -when i totally am
i got scars in my heart, its been broke, it never totally mends
it takes its toll in the end, tense, a roller coaster of rage
if this ride doesnt stop soon, ill jump towards my only escape
living life like im only insane, lonely, ill just throw it away
in a room full of people, like theres no one that stayed
Like nobody here really knows im controlling the pain
all this shit in my head hurts, worse when i hold it at bey
iono what to say, or how to convey words in emotional ways
im an ocean of hate, that keeps splashing over with waves
that my fiance thinks laughing overs ok, not knowing its fake
not knowing this face, only smiles when i know its on stage
when i know that explaining, is what ill do when its ok to say it
when i know its the safest, knowing, i dont know when that day is