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08-16-2013, 07:39 PM
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#1 |
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The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349682   |
Marvin The Martian Shot That Nikka
District 9....where dreams are wishes, & wishes are falling stars
replaced by....the devil's calling card, with a grin & some Haggen Daz turning families to partridge farms, dignity is nonsense & spectacular the mixture of dosages provide cottons making it harder to process vernacular lost in the back of the moment, analyzing the whole loss of the manual the book that tells me, life is a bowl of cherries & whipped cream especially when I realize all the knowledge I'll have buried with me... reincarnation, other tales of heroes & such, to the Pharaohs above creating the building block to life, fated to witness the perils of love but I always knew the tarots corrupt, the hands faulted unless cleansed got the thread on hold, tailored in favor how I altered the ends.. seeking therapy carelessly, snipped the head & sent the ice part each hill, dive in and drown in the crimson tide.. a touch of insanity mixed with life, not enough time to get it right just kept it going, a full cup of water lifted high... & here's the alternate ending since you wouldn't get that line poultry dish garnished with the proper fittings on each side send these birds up for a duck hunt to sit with Jesus Christ
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
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08-16-2013, 07:40 PM
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#2 |
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nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,505
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 51788022 |
OOooOo.
I like uh this ! Will finish when really high.
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
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08-17-2013, 09:19 AM
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#3 |
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Super Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 7,420
Battle Record: 70-25
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Rep Power: 77164519 |
Nice shit my dude.... The tailored line was bananas... The wouldn't get that line and final couplets was an excellent touch, good work through out, flow was on point too, props
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08-17-2013, 08:09 PM
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#4 |
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The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349682 |
thanks bro...I don't praise circumcision though...
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
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08-21-2013, 06:03 PM
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#5 |
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Razor-thin derision
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25
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Rep Power: 49604320 |
You speak in riddles frequently, a wit centurion of sorts, your rhyme schemes being not too shabby, adding to the style of presentation. I saw District 9 so I had the mental backdrop image of that movie while reading this... also caught a whiff of a Crimson Tide submarine reference but I could be wrong. This was cool stuff as usual, I like your work.
Keep doing you |
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08-30-2013, 06:52 PM
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#6 |
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The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349682 |
thanks my dude, still working on doing that piece for you
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
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08-30-2013, 07:01 PM
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#7 |
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nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,505
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 51788022 |
liked all of it. ending was dope. stay up
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
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