Werewolf Table Manners

Vulgar · 08-18-2013, 03:02 AM

I

NYCSPITZ · 08-18-2013, 03:05 AM

i liked this and enjoyed the flex aspect as u normally don't do that. r u drunk? It is a testament to your intelligence that ppl appreciate ur material yet are ignorant to the content aka 9/11 elite agenda people like oats don't understand the obvious there but still like ur style. 8.75/10 nice

CopyPat · 08-18-2013, 03:17 AM

hey ye old fucker. long time. hows ur life??

Welcome to the demon lodging of sunken statutes
You’ll look forward to seeing zombies over my seething body coming at you

^oohhhh my
Dope.

also u should edit this:
Entombed physics in moats, I drowned in negative daylight’s limitless scope
My lungs filed bankruptcy, strugglin for the air required to keep immune business float

to "afloat".. no?? ur missing that one syllable

go on aim

Defy Gravity · 08-18-2013, 03:48 AM

Dope flow and wordplay. I was expecting a story about a cannibalistic werewolf or a vicious assault on emcees. flow wise and content wise this was top notch. I think you have plenty of imagination

Pregnant with blood, I’m wondering
when’s the next obligation
You haven’t seen a man change so
fast overnight since Vegas sex
alterations

great way to discribe the transformation. 9/10

oats · 08-18-2013, 06:47 AM

Drunk, bookmarked.

Certain · 08-19-2013, 03:46 AM

I, too, have a slight fear every time I have sex that I will accidentally impregnate the woman I am penetrating. (It's about the only positive side effect of my recent dry spell.)

Anyway, that was my takeaway from this verse. Maybe I'm reading into it what I wanted to, but this section seemed to be about that:

Quote:

Pregnant with blood, I’m wondering when’s the next obligation
You haven’t seen a man change so fast overnight since Vegas sex alterations
If it’s any consolation, I’ve got Nefertiti’s ovary in a ruptured steel contraption
So I can access birth canals when I fucking feel like it, captain
Children don’t phase me, but the blood of a clawed beast makes me feel sickly
They set bear traps for me, I made sure that species went extinct real quickly

I liked that you relaxed a bit on this one. It was very loosely written in contrast to your usual density. I didn't even miss a single allusion. The flow wavered at times, even though the rhyme scheme didn't. This seemed like something you wanted to get off your chest, albeit indirectly.

Exis · 08-19-2013, 09:59 AM

DJ Khaled’s wretched remains hang from my jaws like “WE DA BEST… as a light meal.”

^^Lol.

This isn’t a joke - I promise you the longitude will world trade center demolish you
Why worry about the smoke of trench war, what about the vaunted fumes of solitude?

^^Nice.

Welcome to the demon lodging of sunken statutes
You’ll look forward to seeing zombies over my seething body coming at you
Fuck Twilight, church & Bieber. I thrive at nightlife, worked at Keibler's
During Berlin Easters, holding your organs over the burning ether
Bent over the bleeding parchment, breathing, pardon the endlessness
The universe starts to expand, as pupils roll back, like Stephen Hawking’s apprentices

^^Favorite section.

This was good, not as lengthy as your other pieces but you packed alot in here.Some really slick imagery in places and I liked the content as a whole...you also kept a consistent rhyme scheme thru-out to echo what Serpent said...nice shit V.

Stay uppity.

08-18-2013, 03:02 AM	#1
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Werewolf Table Manners I Last edited by Vulgar; 12-03-2021 at 09:42 PM.

08-18-2013, 03:17 AM	#3
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	hey ye old fucker. long time. hows ur life?? Welcome to the demon lodging of sunken statutes You’ll look forward to seeing zombies over my seething body coming at you ^oohhhh my Dope. also u should edit this: Entombed physics in moats, I drowned in negative daylight’s limitless scope My lungs filed bankruptcy, strugglin for the air required to keep immune business float to "afloat".. no?? ur missing that one syllable go on aim __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

08-18-2013, 03:05 AM	#2
NYCSPITZ SYRACUSE Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,031 Battle Record: 31-37 Champed - Write Night II - Alias Topical Tournament Rep Power: 4743547	i liked this and enjoyed the flex aspect as u normally don't do that. r u drunk? It is a testament to your intelligence that ppl appreciate ur material yet are ignorant to the content aka 9/11 elite agenda people like oats don't understand the obvious there but still like ur style. 8.75/10 nice

08-18-2013, 03:48 AM	#4
Defy Gravity The Dominican Prince Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 264 Battle Record: 1-3 Rep Power: 476	Dope flow and wordplay. I was expecting a story about a cannibalistic werewolf or a vicious assault on emcees. flow wise and content wise this was top notch. I think you have plenty of imagination Pregnant with blood, I’m wondering when’s the next obligation You haven’t seen a man change so fast overnight since Vegas sex alterations great way to discribe the transformation. 9/10

08-18-2013, 06:47 AM	#5
oats Steel Cut Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,084 Battle Record: 19-10 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 79005428	Drunk, bookmarked.

08-19-2013, 09:59 AM	#7
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	DJ Khaled’s wretched remains hang from my jaws like “WE DA BEST… as a light meal.” ^^Lol. This isn’t a joke - I promise you the longitude will world trade center demolish you Why worry about the smoke of trench war, what about the vaunted fumes of solitude? ^^Nice. Welcome to the demon lodging of sunken statutes You’ll look forward to seeing zombies over my seething body coming at you Fuck Twilight, church & Bieber. I thrive at nightlife, worked at Keibler's During Berlin Easters, holding your organs over the burning ether Bent over the bleeding parchment, breathing, pardon the endlessness The universe starts to expand, as pupils roll back, like Stephen Hawking’s apprentices ^^Favorite section. This was good, not as lengthy as your other pieces but you packed alot in here.Some really slick imagery in places and I liked the content as a whole...you also kept a consistent rhyme scheme thru-out to echo what Serpent said...nice shit V. Stay uppity.