Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Forum > Open Mic Section
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-22-2013, 02:17 AM   #1
Frank Metts
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,621
Battle Record: 0-1



Rep Power: 2305789
Frank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant future
Default A Chess game with King James

The White King James speaks..


" My lady, time to assemble an army is their no man that can harm me?
This will be detrimental to all thee, ohh my what have I spawned Queen?
Why didn't it dawn to flee? Will they see through this blarney?...
....Ohh, Its time to address the people?
how depressed do I seem to you? This rum will help suppress my defeated mood "

" here ye, here ye "

" its dear you fear me, I will steer you cleary... people a war is upon us
Details? I won't bore you with nonsense, I will lure you to conquest
And assure you a long rest, just 64 little squares that were set to roam
But No space can be left alone and then we will quest for home ..
...for all your names will be etched in stone, I need 6 noble warriors
Ones whom are so notorious the Black King will run the globe ignoring us
Who just spoke? Come forth you must or ill make you pay
Agitate I may, but now I have 2 knights and this should only take a day
You'll partake at bay, you have our back and for that, track close by
When men in Black grow nigh steam forward two square then attack both sides
So their lack of hope dies, bishops step forward leaving sentiments in the past
You'll be straight with me but move diagonally removing enemies in your path
As for the Queen and I? We will be descending to the back...
you two with the somber looks.. castles or towers? Tis' interesting see
why hassle, by the power thats invested in me your donned as rooks
You can wrestle for hours be distance from thee
but you can't hurdle thats an impossibility
they never heard of you, squabble and flee
move how you want vertical and horizontally
Don't be merciful and cut surgically ...
... you 8 men of lower class commit, your life is given
Come hither or spend days and nights in prison
now go kiss your wife and children Pawns with insight? Envision ..
.... even a King like myself has to laugh sometimes
Kill or be killed I know its half sublime...
... your only job is to die amid the brash front lines.
Tomorrow our legacy, alas defined ... don't let anything rattle our intesity
I admit my egos dabbled with immensity but at dawn we battle for supremacy. "


The King awakes casual, as he's meant to be ...but something seemed different
He's over comes with mean spirit's when he realizes his queens missing
The steam from his ears glistened, light creept until he drew back his curtain
To expose a view that was certain, he now knew only a few Black were hurting
But had to face facts in person, thinking no one had yet breached their home
Running to reach the thrown making sure his crown didn't leave his dome
He made it to the dark room and heard a deceitful tone...



... " their your queen lay slayed, in a place of grace and such faith
A disgrace theirs no heart rate.. now you've come face to face with your fate
This isn't a chase or race, move one space. Really, do I need to direct?
This is silly, move your feet to the left and ill follow suit and keep you in check
I won't be pleased with your death, Kings all act subdued when pressured
And can barely move when threatened now your eyes can view oppression
We can make it your new obession..."

James whines in his amenity
" i have a commencing plea..
...were you a friend ive seen? Please reveal your identity
you'll pay for offending thee or is your plan to off, ending me?
I can't deal with serenity.. Treating a King as a nonentity...
...if I die make it seem quick, here's a keen trick..."


" just shut up, your not a paraplegic its your move be strategic
While you babbled I foreseen it, look around all you see in blackness
Your knights are held captives, we turned your bishops baptists
And your rooks burned to ashes, the only Queen left is your mattress
The rest were sent packing, now your only move seems more attractive
I'm telling not asking, step back, lay down its all doing the same
I'm not confusing your brain theirs simple rules to this game
that could ruin the sane, end the devotion and snap out of slow motion
Take your turn without commotion and ill slide right into a promotion
No need for emotion or deep boasting im not a wolf in sheeps clothing
My rook just keeps enclosing knowing all that discreet moaing
Will cease when decomposing... ignorance is bliss esp when someone's at war
You battled for 64 squares, we were coming for more and conquered all 204
the most important piece on the board, I won't brag like I'm a master
But your just the flag we have to capture then we put you out to pasture
updated your pastor.. were all blessed, Angels took you home, accept fate
Two promises were kept .. the long rest and your name etched in stone
...check mate








.

Last edited by Frank Metts; 09-22-2013 at 02:18 PM. Reason: grammatical errors
Frank Metts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 02:28 AM   #2
DLB
COLTS GANG
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,371
Battle Record: 5-6



Rep Power: 0
DLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-level
Default

fire
DLB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 02:33 AM   #3
Fig
Om
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6,461
Battle Record: 8-16



Rep Power: 84181562
Fig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant future
Default

Dope. I'll update my feed at a later time, but this was incredibly focused. There were some colloquialisms used in certain parts that felt out of place, and it dragged on in some parts, but this was dope nonetheless
__________________
BIRDHORSE 8-15
Fig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 06:37 AM   #4
e11even
V.V
 
e11even's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20



Rep Power: 6247259
e11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant future
Default

Concept, flow very locked in. I loved it. Some of the language wasn't consistent with the gimmick of the piece throughout, but who really cares lol.

This was a pretty cool piece, but I was waiting for the shamalan switch-up TBH...

Great shit, Frank.
__________________
Ahem.
e11even is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 09:24 AM   #5
veritas
HALL OF FAME
 
veritas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: portal 7 to the 9th exponent
Posts: 16,160
Battle Record: 3-5



Rep Power: 0
veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas
Default

Damn. This was immense. A topical. A concept. Psychology........also very smooth lyricallly

The last section when the king realizes the board has shifted....all the way to the ending was excelle r!

Drop more frank
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Consensus
The cerebral assassin, the molder of minds, the Omni potent being. Time transcending traveler, wisdom incarnate. Veritas needs no intro but I guess I have to. He’s not know in the battling world but who doesn’t know veritas? The guy us always original and if you pay attention to his bars, dude brings the heat.. The gawd.
veritas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 09:55 AM   #6
Frank Metts
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,621
Battle Record: 0-1



Rep Power: 2305789
Frank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by VERITAS View Post
Damn. This was immense. A topical. A concept. Psychology........also very smooth lyricallly

The last section when the king realizes the board has shifted....all the way to the ending was excelle r!

Drop more frank
I can never tell when your being sincere ... but thanks for the read that much is always appreciated
Frank Metts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 10:09 AM   #7
Frank Metts
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,621
Battle Record: 0-1



Rep Power: 2305789
Frank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vividlyvague View Post
Concept, flow very locked in. I loved it. Some of the language wasn't consistent with the gimmick of the piece throughout, but who really cares lol.

This was a pretty cool piece, but I was waiting for the shamalan switch-up TBH...

Great shit, Frank.
I had one in mind but I started keying this while my daughter was napping then sat my phone down and didn't pick it back up till she went to bed for the night so the twist ended up being no twist ... no excuses lol

The language aspect was more of an intelligent successful modern day man taking his game to literal and serious while overlooking the easiest of elements while a pawn so to speak played the game for what it was worth ...

But your the reader and I respect any and all feedback and hope when I have time to drop more you'll come back for seconds ... thank you
Frank Metts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 10:13 AM   #8
e11even
V.V
 
e11even's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20



Rep Power: 6247259
e11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant future
Default

I'll definitely read more on you, Good Sir.
__________________
Ahem.
e11even is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 10:42 AM   #9
Frank Metts
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,621
Battle Record: 0-1



Rep Power: 2305789
Frank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant future
Default

@Fig @Death ... appreciate the read fellas.. thank you
Frank Metts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 01:15 PM   #10
DLB
COLTS GANG
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,371
Battle Record: 5-6



Rep Power: 0
DLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-levelDLB drags down this site on a Masaii-level
Default

anytime franky u know dlb got u
DLB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2013, 01:01 PM   #11
Frank Metts
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,621
Battle Record: 0-1



Rep Power: 2305789
Frank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant future
Default

anymore critics ?
Frank Metts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2013, 06:24 PM   #12
Frank Metts
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,621
Battle Record: 0-1



Rep Power: 2305789
Frank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant futureFrank Metts has a brilliant future
Default

Ehh one more bump then ill put it on the backburner
Frank Metts is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:45 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+