Netcees

Netcees (http://netcees.org/index.php)
-   Open Mic Section (http://netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=6)
-   -   A Chess game with King James (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=19617)

Frank Metts 09-22-2013 02:17 AM

A Chess game with King James
 
The White King James speaks..


" My lady, time to assemble an army is their no man that can harm me?
This will be detrimental to all thee, ohh my what have I spawned Queen?
Why didn't it dawn to flee? Will they see through this blarney?...
....Ohh, Its time to address the people?
how depressed do I seem to you? This rum will help suppress my defeated mood "

" here ye, here ye "

" its dear you fear me, I will steer you cleary... people a war is upon us
Details? I won't bore you with nonsense, I will lure you to conquest
And assure you a long rest, just 64 little squares that were set to roam
But No space can be left alone and then we will quest for home ..
...for all your names will be etched in stone, I need 6 noble warriors
Ones whom are so notorious the Black King will run the globe ignoring us
Who just spoke? Come forth you must or ill make you pay
Agitate I may, but now I have 2 knights and this should only take a day
You'll partake at bay, you have our back and for that, track close by
When men in Black grow nigh steam forward two square then attack both sides
So their lack of hope dies, bishops step forward leaving sentiments in the past
You'll be straight with me but move diagonally removing enemies in your path
As for the Queen and I? We will be descending to the back...
you two with the somber looks.. castles or towers? Tis' interesting see
why hassle, by the power thats invested in me your donned as rooks
You can wrestle for hours be distance from thee
but you can't hurdle thats an impossibility
they never heard of you, squabble and flee
move how you want vertical and horizontally
Don't be merciful and cut surgically ...
... you 8 men of lower class commit, your life is given
Come hither or spend days and nights in prison
now go kiss your wife and children Pawns with insight? Envision ..
.... even a King like myself has to laugh sometimes
Kill or be killed I know its half sublime...
... your only job is to die amid the brash front lines.
Tomorrow our legacy, alas defined ... don't let anything rattle our intesity
I admit my egos dabbled with immensity but at dawn we battle for supremacy. "


The King awakes casual, as he's meant to be ...but something seemed different
He's over comes with mean spirit's when he realizes his queens missing
The steam from his ears glistened, light creept until he drew back his curtain
To expose a view that was certain, he now knew only a few Black were hurting
But had to face facts in person, thinking no one had yet breached their home
Running to reach the thrown making sure his crown didn't leave his dome
He made it to the dark room and heard a deceitful tone...



... " their your queen lay slayed, in a place of grace and such faith
A disgrace theirs no heart rate.. now you've come face to face with your fate
This isn't a chase or race, move one space. Really, do I need to direct?
This is silly, move your feet to the left and ill follow suit and keep you in check
I won't be pleased with your death, Kings all act subdued when pressured
And can barely move when threatened now your eyes can view oppression
We can make it your new obession..."

James whines in his amenity
" i have a commencing plea..
...were you a friend ive seen? Please reveal your identity
you'll pay for offending thee or is your plan to off, ending me?
I can't deal with serenity.. Treating a King as a nonentity...
...if I die make it seem quick, here's a keen trick..."


" just shut up, your not a paraplegic its your move be strategic
While you babbled I foreseen it, look around all you see in blackness
Your knights are held captives, we turned your bishops baptists
And your rooks burned to ashes, the only Queen left is your mattress
The rest were sent packing, now your only move seems more attractive
I'm telling not asking, step back, lay down its all doing the same
I'm not confusing your brain theirs simple rules to this game
that could ruin the sane, end the devotion and snap out of slow motion
Take your turn without commotion and ill slide right into a promotion
No need for emotion or deep boasting im not a wolf in sheeps clothing
My rook just keeps enclosing knowing all that discreet moaing
Will cease when decomposing... ignorance is bliss esp when someone's at war
You battled for 64 squares, we were coming for more and conquered all 204
the most important piece on the board, I won't brag like I'm a master
But your just the flag we have to capture then we put you out to pasture
updated your pastor.. were all blessed, Angels took you home, accept fate
Two promises were kept .. the long rest and your name etched in stone
...check mate








.

DLB 09-22-2013 02:28 AM

fire

Fig 09-22-2013 02:33 AM

Dope. I'll update my feed at a later time, but this was incredibly focused. There were some colloquialisms used in certain parts that felt out of place, and it dragged on in some parts, but this was dope nonetheless

e11even 09-22-2013 06:37 AM

Concept, flow very locked in. I loved it. Some of the language wasn't consistent with the gimmick of the piece throughout, but who really cares lol.

This was a pretty cool piece, but I was waiting for the shamalan switch-up TBH...

Great shit, Frank.

veritas 09-22-2013 09:24 AM

Damn. This was immense. A topical. A concept. Psychology........also very smooth lyricallly

The last section when the king realizes the board has shifted....all the way to the ending was excelle r!

Drop more frank

Frank Metts 09-22-2013 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VERITAS (Post 157630)
Damn. This was immense. A topical. A concept. Psychology........also very smooth lyricallly

The last section when the king realizes the board has shifted....all the way to the ending was excelle r!

Drop more frank

I can never tell when your being sincere ... but thanks for the read that much is always appreciated

Frank Metts 09-22-2013 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vividlyvague (Post 157601)
Concept, flow very locked in. I loved it. Some of the language wasn't consistent with the gimmick of the piece throughout, but who really cares lol.

This was a pretty cool piece, but I was waiting for the shamalan switch-up TBH...

Great shit, Frank.

I had one in mind but I started keying this while my daughter was napping then sat my phone down and didn't pick it back up till she went to bed for the night so the twist ended up being no twist ... no excuses lol

The language aspect was more of an intelligent successful modern day man taking his game to literal and serious while overlooking the easiest of elements while a pawn so to speak played the game for what it was worth ...

But your the reader and I respect any and all feedback and hope when I have time to drop more you'll come back for seconds ... thank you

e11even 09-22-2013 10:13 AM

I'll definitely read more on you, Good Sir.

Frank Metts 09-22-2013 10:42 AM

@Fig @Death ... appreciate the read fellas.. thank you

DLB 09-22-2013 01:15 PM

anytime franky u know dlb got u

Frank Metts 09-24-2013 01:01 PM

anymore critics ?

Frank Metts 09-27-2013 06:24 PM

Ehh one more bump then ill put it on the backburner


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:01 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.