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04-03-2016, 11:35 PM
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#1 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: I live in Florida
Posts: 4,788
Battle Record: 3-8
Rep Power: 55521419     |
Death of a King
Lived the life of a King,put his heart out with dreams.
God will protect his Achievements will never be forgotten Had ambition & passion they excepted his weakness but he manged to survived It's a shame that he gone but we gotta move & make it far. been fighting battles but he was angle Success through pain. |
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04-04-2016, 12:01 AM
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#2 |
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The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349682 |
someone Nom this for the HOF now..
__________________
.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
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04-04-2016, 12:12 AM
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#3 |
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low tide in serotonin bay
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,752
Battle Record: 37-28
Champed - GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II
Rep Power: 15446146 |
Read more like a poem than an open mic, it didn't really have anything to make it standout as a piece. Just real bland, work on imagery and vocabulary to paint more vibrant pictures and give the reader something to be in awe about.
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04-04-2016, 12:15 AM
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#4 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: I live in Florida
Posts: 4,788
Battle Record: 3-8
Rep Power: 55521419 |
I'm more of a poet head, thanks for feedback.
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