.. You can't tell me shit!! I'm self centered like photo cropping selfie pics!!,

Scrollz · 01-06-2015, 01:20 PM

I'm fully loaded on that foolio shit
act a ass like Murphy on that movie role bit //
I'll quit rap while Ahead I walk the valley of the shadow of deaf
and get twisted like coolios wig //
head trip, my dangerous mind gets sober when I smoke n drink,
a oxymoron it's probly boredOm //
that would make me try oxys with black sabbath geeks,
a real school boy, Q.. dodged catholic priests,//
you never felt fear, I grabbed little females rears,
hated group projects, white people smelt weird//
but anyway my point is I'm slightly off
...swerving front of the boys be the lines he cross //
I'd stay in my own lane if they straightened
please stay in your own lane help just save it//
.. You can't tell me shit!!
I'm self centered like photo cropping selfie pics!!, //
...open bars with naive chicks
who knows all the words to every single 90s hits, //
and they highly lit, I'll most likely hit
too drunk to do the right thing this ain't no spike lee flick//
.. But he got game like Ray Allen clown
to take shots in numbers, when he be downtown//
in the heat the moment, kid don't got shit to lose ya
- only picture me lose getting fit on the Biggest Loser.//

dull boy · 01-06-2015, 02:26 PM

Leeeeet's dooo the tiiiiime warrrrp, agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

Witty · 01-06-2015, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dull boy

Leeeeet's dooo the tiiiiime warrrrp, agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

lol

This was ok tho, apart from all the decorations you put on it.

Christmas is over bro.

Scrollz · 01-06-2015, 07:03 PM

are you insult of me?? lol I don't know..or you saying im "gifted"..

PancakeBrah · 01-06-2015, 08:20 PM

He was insulting you. But Witty insults are like friendly punches on the shoulder from a long lost pal whilst drinking at the bar, so don't be mad.

Anyways, this was similar to your other Open Mic that I read that a lot of it was gibberish that I can't be bothered to parse out. I will say that this piece was the superior of the two. A bit more cohesive. Or maybe I enjoyed it more because your current writing weaknesses are less exposed in a shorter piece. Again, a lot of the wordplays and connections were weak. But the flow and rhymes were average, so that's a starting point.

Thanks.

01-06-2015, 01:20 PM	#1
Scrollz Indigo Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Columbus Ohio Posts: 15 Rep Power: 0	.. You can't tell me shit!! I'm self centered like photo cropping selfie pics!!, I'm fully loaded on that foolio shit act a ass like Murphy on that movie role bit // I'll quit rap while Ahead I walk the valley of the shadow of deaf and get twisted like coolios wig // head trip, my dangerous mind gets sober when I smoke n drink, a oxymoron it's probly boredOm // that would make me try oxys with black sabbath geeks, a real school boy, Q.. dodged catholic priests,// you never felt fear, I grabbed little females rears, hated group projects, white people smelt weird// but anyway my point is I'm slightly off ...swerving front of the boys be the lines he cross // I'd stay in my own lane if they straightened please stay in your own lane help just save it// .. You can't tell me shit!! I'm self centered like photo cropping selfie pics!!, // ...open bars with naive chicks who knows all the words to every single 90s hits, // and they highly lit, I'll most likely hit too drunk to do the right thing this ain't no spike lee flick// .. But he got game like Ray Allen clown to take shots in numbers, when he be downtown// in the heat the moment, kid don't got shit to lose ya - only picture me lose getting fit on the Biggest Loser.// Last edited by Scrollz; 01-06-2015 at 01:24 PM.

01-06-2015, 08:20 PM	#5
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	He was insulting you. But Witty insults are like friendly punches on the shoulder from a long lost pal whilst drinking at the bar, so don't be mad. Anyways, this was similar to your other Open Mic that I read that a lot of it was gibberish that I can't be bothered to parse out. I will say that this piece was the superior of the two. A bit more cohesive. Or maybe I enjoyed it more because your current writing weaknesses are less exposed in a shorter piece. Again, a lot of the wordplays and connections were weak. But the flow and rhymes were average, so that's a starting point. Thanks. __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder

01-06-2015, 02:26 PM	#2
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,053 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345604	Leeeeet's dooo the tiiiiime warrrrp, agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

01-06-2015, 07:03 PM	#4
Scrollz Indigo Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Columbus Ohio Posts: 15 Rep Power: 0	are you insult of me?? lol I don't know..or you saying im "gifted"..