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-   -   .. You can't tell me shit!! I'm self centered like photo cropping selfie pics!!, (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=115720)

Scrollz 01-06-2015 01:20 PM

.. You can't tell me shit!! I'm self centered like photo cropping selfie pics!!,
 
I'm fully loaded on that foolio shit
act a ass like Murphy on that movie role bit //
I'll quit rap while Ahead I walk the valley of the shadow of deaf
and get twisted like coolios wig //
head trip, my dangerous mind gets sober when I smoke n drink,
a oxymoron it's probly boredOm //
that would make me try oxys with black sabbath geeks,
a real school boy, Q.. dodged catholic priests,//
you never felt fear, I grabbed little females rears,
hated group projects, white people smelt weird//
but anyway my point is I'm slightly off
...swerving front of the boys be the lines he cross //
I'd stay in my own lane if they straightened
please stay in your own lane help just save it//
.. You can't tell me shit!!
I'm self centered like photo cropping selfie pics!!, //
...open bars with naive chicks
who knows all the words to every single 90s hits, //
and they highly lit, I'll most likely hit
too drunk to do the right thing this ain't no spike lee flick//
.. But he got game like Ray Allen clown
to take shots in numbers, when he be downtown//
in the heat the moment, kid don't got shit to lose ya
- only picture me lose getting fit on the Biggest Loser.//

dull boy 01-06-2015 02:26 PM

Leeeeet's dooo the tiiiiime warrrrp, agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

Witty 01-06-2015 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dull boy (Post 461283)
Leeeeet's dooo the tiiiiime warrrrp, agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

lol

This was ok tho, apart from all the decorations you put on it.

Christmas is over bro.

Scrollz 01-06-2015 07:03 PM

are you insult of me?? lol I don't know..or you saying im "gifted"..

PancakeBrah 01-06-2015 08:20 PM

He was insulting you. But Witty insults are like friendly punches on the shoulder from a long lost pal whilst drinking at the bar, so don't be mad.

Anyways, this was similar to your other Open Mic that I read that a lot of it was gibberish that I can't be bothered to parse out. I will say that this piece was the superior of the two. A bit more cohesive. Or maybe I enjoyed it more because your current writing weaknesses are less exposed in a shorter piece. Again, a lot of the wordplays and connections were weak. But the flow and rhymes were average, so that's a starting point.

Thanks.


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