Weekly Bars

H4ZE · 11-24-2014, 12:11 PM

Weekly Bars 1:
Imma upper cut all you females like I'm Ray Rice
So think twice 'fore you come askin about the fade guys
I'll throw two jabs, a straight right, duck ur shit then aim high
And upper cut you so hard that you back flip off the stage side!
I murder kids! I don't care how young, damn it I'm wild
And I'll still get off free, like Casey Anthony's trial!
All these new kids comin in look stupid standin around
like Mayweather verse Caleno, they can't handle this bout!
these cats talkin 'bout style that they're barely skilled with
If you ain't felt the wrath of pain then prepare to feel it
Your flame is doused, don't play around like im scared to kill kids
I'll shoot at teens for no reason like I'm Darren Wilson!
You mad?! What, you think that imma mind my shit?!
Hold back, relax and be nice every time I spit?
Nah, cuz it's my goal to get you hyped and pissed
so my bars offend you more than Ems cypher did!
I'm demented, a lunatic, crazed and sick
Brought up to be a killer, I was trained to spit.
It only takes the little things to make me click
And beat you toddlers like the lady from Malaysia did!
Step back, I wreck cats, don't pull no shit its do or die
Fuck with me, I'll never stop, i'll bully you to suicide
Mess with me, better hope I'll wipe you out with hands
I guess I'll let you take one last walk around the land
Before I take you to the peak of where the mountains stand
And behead you and your family like I'm taliban!
damn...

Mr. J · 11-24-2014, 12:41 PM

This was cool, a lot of punchlines that were played
but regardless your flow was there. this is more cypher material
then again I can't complain much about that whole ordeal
you grasp onto what you know what makes for well crafted verses
Id leave up to date punchlines for a song more than a text verse
the more you play with words the more praise you'd get here
at least that's how I see it, maybe play in the cyphers and craft a verse there
that's how must work comes about if you try hard enough & stay focused
keep it up

H4ZE · 11-25-2014, 09:00 AM

Preciate the feed. I'm more of a topical writer, don't do stuff like this much.

Dope girl · 11-25-2014, 05:11 PM

This isn't bad even tho some lines played, your punchline could have been better 9/10

11-24-2014, 12:11 PM	#1
H4ZE Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Florida Posts: 77 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 0	Weekly Bars Weekly Bars 1: Imma upper cut all you females like I'm Ray Rice So think twice 'fore you come askin about the fade guys I'll throw two jabs, a straight right, duck ur shit then aim high And upper cut you so hard that you back flip off the stage side! I murder kids! I don't care how young, damn it I'm wild And I'll still get off free, like Casey Anthony's trial! All these new kids comin in look stupid standin around like Mayweather verse Caleno, they can't handle this bout! these cats talkin 'bout style that they're barely skilled with If you ain't felt the wrath of pain then prepare to feel it Your flame is doused, don't play around like im scared to kill kids I'll shoot at teens for no reason like I'm Darren Wilson! You mad?! What, you think that imma mind my shit?! Hold back, relax and be nice every time I spit? Nah, cuz it's my goal to get you hyped and pissed so my bars offend you more than Ems cypher did! I'm demented, a lunatic, crazed and sick Brought up to be a killer, I was trained to spit. It only takes the little things to make me click And beat you toddlers like the lady from Malaysia did! Step back, I wreck cats, don't pull no shit its do or die Fuck with me, I'll never stop, i'll bully you to suicide Mess with me, better hope I'll wipe you out with hands I guess I'll let you take one last walk around the land Before I take you to the peak of where the mountains stand And behead you and your family like I'm taliban! damn...

11-24-2014, 12:41 PM	#2
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	This was cool, a lot of punchlines that were played but regardless your flow was there. this is more cypher material then again I can't complain much about that whole ordeal you grasp onto what you know what makes for well crafted verses Id leave up to date punchlines for a song more than a text verse the more you play with words the more praise you'd get here at least that's how I see it, maybe play in the cyphers and craft a verse there that's how must work comes about if you try hard enough & stay focused keep it up __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

11-25-2014, 09:00 AM	#3
H4ZE Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Florida Posts: 77 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 0	Preciate the feed. I'm more of a topical writer, don't do stuff like this much.

11-25-2014, 05:11 PM	#4
Dope girl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: I live in Florida Posts: 4,789 Battle Record: 3-8 Rep Power: 55521419	This isn't bad even tho some lines played, your punchline could have been better 9/10