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#1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2020
Posts: 323
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You're a kind of like a mystic.
With God like visage. I been a witness to your alchemy, it's vintage. I got perfect vision... But maybe youre a wizard, just effecting physics. But can you really listen, Am I just an echo in the distance? Pharaoh! Pharaoh? Will this spell diminish, Or is it altruistic.....what isn't given? I can't tell the difference, it's feeling sacrilegious, a new religion. Or am I just a bigot? |
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#2 |
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,868
Battle Record: 17-32
Rep Power: 52474192 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Short and sweet lil piece of questioning the bigger things in life, or perhaps it's a metamorphosis of self? Whether it's for better or worse seems to be for the future to figure out. This piece also reads a bit like finding a new love interest or a new best friend but you're not quite sure whether or not they'll be good for you.
Either way, the opening line wasn't that clear to me: "You're a kind of like a mystic. " ^A kind of a mystic, or like a kind of mystic? Besides of that hiccup I enjoyed the read and the stream of thoughts/questions you put me through through the eyes of your protagonist.
__________________
I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o |
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#3 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2020
Posts: 323
Rep Power: 4218482 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Typo haha. I thought I edited it. Thanks for reminding me. And I appreciate the feedback!
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