Enjoyable read for the most part! It wasn’t bad at all. Infact, I’m kinda curious to see how you would sound on an audio version. I feel like you show signs of creativity. I also like how you didn’t just stockpile words that ain’t even necessary half the time. I’m startin to see a pattern of that occur every once in awhile. So keep letting some of the words come to you instead, it would make it much smoother and somewhat easier to understand. I felt like your verse had good rhyming and was smooth for the most part. Hope to see more from you, you'll be hearin from me. Good job.
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