[brokenhal0]

Civil Rawr xD - River in New Zealand

Here I am running around
The ground I step on is rugged and rigged
Do you think it’s a lie?
Am I lying?
Are you fucking kidding me? -- very cool abstraction with the personals

I’ve never known a boy to spread his legs willingly
I am boy
I’ve never married a girl who
Nvm ---- simple basic , poetic persuasive -- i like it

But at the last straw? We still find ourself
I’m here through thick and thins
Say the silent prayer but be with god
Always stay true to those
Never expose weakness to gorl --- LOL poetry in motion does it lack the true art of hiphop not really but in terms of a writing skill tournament
less will rarely be considered more
and this was bout as simple as it gets yet it has impact and soul i enjoyed it..

Dope Girl - Daughter's Pain

I remember your first walk, your first talk.
When you was a little girl I took you to the park.
You told me your feelings, I told you I'll save you from the dark.
When your dad left, I told you I'll protect you from shark. --- best opening i read from you

While I'm pregnant I was outside alone,
I had to make it on my own.
When you was a baby I take care of you by myself.
I would never make you feel the pain because it felt so lonely inside. -- emotional wording sticks to the narrative paints good character imagery..

Think about it make me mad,
I wish your dad didn't do me bad.
No matter what you go through I'll be for you.
We stick together forever. -----good ending brightens up a rather morose read from both writers still holds impactful narrative ...


Mvgt - ''TIED'' i actually enjoyed civil rawrs written it's abstract metaphor and minimalist approach showed depth on a deeper level ...but in terms of story cadence with a less abstract but still emotionally driven narrative dopegirl got the overall better ''verse'' to me it lacked creativity but still well written ..can't pick one side both seem equal...