Chapter Four - Loose Ends
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=142850
Chapter Five: The Dark Places We Hide
"
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." -
Plato
......
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock...
I checked my pulse like a metronome, it kept the rhythm of the night
Yet a depressed mind in a childhood home might never come to light
Thought I went blind at first, my only company was my audible breath
I guess talking commenced to guide me to my next obvious step
The spotlight put me on edge, this circular shape had formed quick
The implications were enormous as I made my way toward it
There was a growing odd aroma, a burning smell, I'm guessing stove top
Was getting closed off until the tick tock of that metronome clock
I eavesdropped a Woman saying, "Embrace light, as it is your savior"
I stirred awake; A Therapist studied me with a pen pressed to paper
"Let's keep this journey going" she stated "steel your hate and move through"
"Close your eyes, you're getting tired, feel sleep's weight consume you..."
Daydreams were crucial; Suddenly there was a familiar door above me
Father came down the stairs with a bottle in your typical drunk scene
I tried running but restraints would hold me to the basement pole
My baby Brother was shaking cold, the abuse had to take its toll
Father craved control; He tossed the bottle and reached for his belt
Didn't care for myself, I tried to guard my Brother from the evil he dealt
But I couldn't speak all that well, he preferred my younger sibling no doubt
So he forced my Brother to his knees and stuck his dick in his mouth
I screamed out but it didn't help... my Brothers fingers were frantic
Asthma was rare but he was gasping for air, terror triggering panic
I envisioned Mother's figure standing atop the stairs, a timid image
She played with her hair then nervously turned to me "Just let him finish..."
Father bit his lip and pulled out as my Brother's neck violently lurched
He zipped up his pants and panted at me, "Next time it's your turn"
He returned upstairs, passing Mother while squeezing her butt
I checked on my Brother, that's when I heard footsteps creaking above...
They were heavy yet subtle, but something was rooted in fear
Soon after I heard Father ask, "Ben... what are you doing here?"
Mother rushed down the stairs, she untied us and said "Dress and be cordial"
"In a couple minutes come up, and remember... everything's normal"
We waited there for ages, then the conversation steered our way
So we rushed up into the kitchen and hid behind our Parents legs
I asked, "Uncle Ben, can you stay?" Hoping it would become our way out
But he just looked away and placed a loaded gun in his mouth
Mother shouted "Benjamin... don't!" But I knew it was the last straw
After I saw Uncle Ben blow his brains out all over the back wall
The last thought from a cracked skull-- "Then what happened?" The Therapist asked
The pistol was stashed and we were dragged back to our inherited trap
Then rapid knocks on the door upstairs, followed by "Police, open up!"
I heard a scuffle above, a scream of "Freeze!" then "Both are cuffed."
A Dark Figure in the light crept toward us... I thought this was it
But it was just a Cop... then he said "Oh my God... it's the kids...."
I opened my heavy eyelids, the Therapist had tears in her eyes
It all disappeared in rewind, she said "This is where you survive"
The metronome clock tick tocked, now this was hardly the time...
But emotions flooded over, I heard "Do you follow your heart or your mind?"
"All those scars can't just hide..." she wrapped her arms around mine
Then said "This is where the healing begins"...
And I started to cry.
......
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90% of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way. 68% are abused by a family member.
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About 80% of 21-year-olds who were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.
Shine a light in the darkness.
https://preventchildabuse.org
https://www.canadahelps.org/en/chari...-support-site/