[sral]

"Regression" (2003)

Browsed through my wordpad shit and found this keyed story from last year. Enjoy.


Laying in my deathbed, praying God-to-give…
Solutions when cancer strikes… & knocks your odds-to-live
I hate my prov-I-dence, the world, I can’t take it no more
Popped some pills then felt the coldness of the floor
Wanted to slip into a long slumber
I tried calling it quits but dialed the wrong number
Then God picked up on the other, other of lines
Asked for my hospital room number & sent a brother of mine
Bringin a pitcher of water like everything’ll be fine when I drink
I was already dead, so I didn’t care what he had in the shit
He forewarned “You suffered all your life now He’s giving it back…
…Your dreams were shattered to pieces & now you’ll be living intact”
“But” he says “This is the fountain of youth & u gotta sip it with time…
Resin, you gotta wait and wait… you gotta stay sicker in nine”
Nine days? Aight, so I took his blessing and laid
Thinking I could withstand the final threshold of pain
So I agreed… and when he left I took the news see
And downed the pitcher quicker than a baseball groupie
A day later… a month after doc said the cancer spread too much
I was up dancing all over with the nurses on the bed and such
Released that night… I was wrinkle free
Docs at awe… throwing med books out for mythology
Came home, gotdamn, I was young again
Who knew praying hard had so much luck in em
Next day, gained hair back, looks flare at it’s best
But twelve hours later I was losing hair on my chest
WHAT IN THE… am I growing smaller?
6 foot 3 to 4 foot 7 … can I still be a baller?
Maybe I was being delusional… did I lose my ration?
Now saliva’s running down my lip in marathon fashion
Fell asleep then woke up feeling a little soiled
I just pissed on myself, I couldn’t help my urge to void
I was starving but couldn’t get up
Did my cancer come back? Or did my back just let up?
Man, I don’t know what’s happening
Three days ago I was dead and now I’m laughing and…
Craving for milk, but my hands didn’t feel stronger using
Lemme get this in writing before I can no longer do it
Dada goo goo ah ooo atch oh nit
Damn, I knew I shouldn’t have drank so quick
Hard breathing by myself, am I turning anemic?
Sat myself next to a mirror and saw myself turn to a fetus.