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Old 05-22-2013, 12:20 AM   #8
Mr. J
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This was pretty nice, I was feeling the ending more than the beginning
not quite sure where you edited it at but I knew of some spots I enjoyed well

Astrology neglects physical concepts.
Advanced yet they're Reprisal has no index.
Were on the boundary of what I speak of,
Life and death.
Adam and Eve the beginning and last breathes.
I see life, a jungle taking steps

^^^^
this was nice
so was the pyramid thing
other than that I felt this was done nicely
felt like you were just edging it out here and there
so I can't give it it's proper due..due to editing
but I enjoyed this keep it up
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