View Single Post
Old 04-19-2016, 11:43 AM   #9
timeless
past tense
 
timeless's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,623
Battle Record: 22-39



Rep Power: 4341329
timeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant futuretimeless has a brilliant future
Default

Fatt sajak, solid second stanza, much better than the rift of uncertainty you started us off with. Still not sure how you related to the topic tbh. Def could've came stronger here, seems like you rushed it..

Jesus dust, rhyming for the sake of rhyming with capitals so we don't get lost in what you are rhyming. Got you. This had 2trip written all over it. Not to say your ambition wasn't there it just wasn't achieved.

V. Innovator for more of a complete, less diluted, more enjoyable read.
timeless is offline